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An increasing number of people are suffering from owing to their modern lifestyle. Changing life is a main reason for deterioration of the health. To what extent you agree or disagree?

An increasing number of people are suffering from owing to their modern lifestyle. Changing life is a main reason for deterioration of the health. 2a76A
At the outset of new millennium people’s life has become significantly complicated and extremely busy. Hence these relentless habits drive many individuals into high risk and put them in a very tight spot in terms of their health. I strongly believe this lifestyle play major role in well-being of the people. Health is broader subject, however primarily we can separate it to two main segments which are physical and mental. In my opinion mental health is most important one among both and that is the one most affected by this behavior. As an example, depression and anxiety is very common among employees working in the financial sector. Quite often this is due to stress generated by long working hours and pressure buildup due to strict deadlines. Hence this is quite clear that their mental health affected in a negative manner. Secondly, Non-Transmittable deceases like diabetic and cholesterol are often common illnesses among the society. Those illnesses are no so common twenty years ago where people used to do more physical work compared to nowadays. Past decade these illnesses started to rise among the society and keep increasing day by day. For an instance, 50% of senior population above age of sixty-five suffering from at least of non-transmittable decease. In conclusion, Unhealthy lifestyles are very common problem among new generation and we should address this issue carefully and responsibly to minimize the health issues that will occur from it.
At the outset of new millennium
people
’s life has become
significantly
complicated and
extremely
busy.
Hence
these relentless habits drive
many
individuals into high
risk
and put them in a
very
tight spot in terms of their
health
. I
strongly
believe this lifestyle play major role in well-being of the
people
.

Health is broader subject,
however
primarily
we can separate it to two main segments which are physical and mental. In my opinion mental
health
is
most
important
one among both and
that is
the one most
affected
by this behavior. As an example, depression and anxiety is
very
common
among employees working in the financial sector. Quite
often
this is due to
stress
generated by long working hours and pressure buildup due to strict deadlines.
Hence
this is quite
clear
that their mental
health
affected
in a
negative
manner.

Secondly
, Non-Transmittable deceases like diabetic and cholesterol are
often
common
illnesses among the society. Those illnesses are no
so
common
twenty years ago where
people
used
to do more physical work compared to nowadays. Past decade these illnesses
started
to rise among the society and
keep
increasing day by day. For an instance, 50% of senior population above age of sixty-five suffering from at least of non-transmittable decease.

In conclusion
, Unhealthy lifestyles are
very
common
problem among new
generation and
we should address this issue
carefully
and
responsibly
to minimize the
health
issues that will occur from it.
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IELTS essay An increasing number of people are suffering from owing to their modern lifestyle. Changing life is a main reason for deterioration of the health.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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