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A woman should not be allowed to work once she is married. Do you agree?

A woman should not be allowed to work once she is married. Do you agree? e61A
After humans experienced a long journey of study life, they would find suitable work that correlates with their passion or course that has taken has been taken in university. However, not all people have a luck y charm in achieving their ambitions, so they must accept any job that could help them in surviving their lives whether ‘they’ are men or women. So, in my opinion, I firmly disagree with the statement that a woman should not be allowed to work once she is married because she needs her own income and she needs to support her family finances. First and foremost, a woman also should be allowed to work even after she gets married because she also needs her own income in order to guarantee a secured life and invest in her own self. Even though every woman in this world would be hoping for a happily married life forever with their husband, but it does not mean that they will get what they are hoping for because no one will know about what will happen to them in the next days whether they would be divorced or remain delighted in future. So, in order to ensure their future lives secured, the need of having their own incomes is vital. In addition, as we all know, some of the woman’s expenditures would be high because they have high desires, so they might feel uncomfortable if they relying only on their husband’s money. Thus, it shows ed that a woman should be allowed to work once she is married because she needs her own income in order to secure her future life. The next reason why a woman should be allowed to work once she is married is that she also needs to support her family finances. As we live in a world where the need for money in surviving life is very essential even when we need to go to the public toilets, we need to use money. So, is there is anything that is free of charge in this world nowadays? Living in a high-cost state or country leads to the need for a high amount of money and a proper job in order to live without any difficulties. So, in order to decrease the heavy burden held by the husband, a wife also needs to get money by working. By letting women work ing, the family finances could be stable and the difficulties in living lives such as financial problems could be avoided. Therefore, it can be seen vividly that a woman should be allowed to work even after she is married for her to she supports her family finances. In a nutshell, I firmly disagree with the statement that a woman should not be allowed to work once she is married because she needs her own income and needs to support her family finances. The authorities could also also could not block women’s dreams. Hoping that every human being could be given a chance in achieving their own dreams and having a good life and also a healthy relationship with everyone especially with their partners of life.
After humans experienced a long journey of study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, they would find suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that correlates with their passion or course that has taken has
been taken
in university.
However
, not all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a luck y charm in achieving their ambitions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
accept any job that could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in surviving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
whether ‘they’ are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
or women.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in my opinion, I
firmly
disagree with the statement that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
she
is married
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
income and
she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
finances.

First
and foremost, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
also
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
even after she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
married
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to guarantee a secured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and invest in her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
self.
Even though
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
in this world would be hoping for a
happily
married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
forever with their husband,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does not mean that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
what they are hoping for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
no one will know about what will happen to them in the
next
days whether they would
be divorced
or remain delighted
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to ensure their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
secured, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of having their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incomes
is vital.
In addition
, as we all know,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman’s
expenditures would be high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have high desires,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they might feel uncomfortable if
Did you mean "they're relying", "they are relying", or "they were relying"?
they relying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on their husband’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Thus
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
ed that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
she
is married
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to secure her future life.

The
next
reason why a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
she
is married
is that she
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
finances. As we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a world where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in surviving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential even when we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to go to the public toilets, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, is there is anything
that is
free of charge in this world nowadays? Living in a high-cost state or country leads to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
for a high amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and a proper job in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
without any difficulties.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to decrease the heavy burden held by the husband, a wife
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by working. By letting women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Possible spelling mistake found.
ing
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
finances could be stable and the difficulties in living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
such as financial problems could
be avoided
.
Therefore
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
vividly
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
even after she
is married
for her to she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supports
her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
finances.

In a nutshell, I
firmly
disagree with the statement that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
she
is married
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
finances. The authorities could
also
also
could not block women’s dreams. Hoping that every human being could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance in achieving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
dreams and having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
also
a healthy relationship with everyone
especially
with their partners of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay A woman should not be allowed to work once she is married. Do you agree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
521 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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