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Writing task 1 line graph: percentage of music sale by three methods

Writing task 1 line graph: percentage of music sale by three methods o5MLq
The proportion of music buying habits between 2011 and 2018 is illustrated by the provided linear representation. It presents three different methods Such as streaming, downloading and CD. Overall, it is clearly seen from the chart that there was a steadily decline in sale of music by CD and download. However, the ratio of streams showed upward trend over the given time period. Initiating at 55% of physical sales of music, the percentage of streams was only 5 in the 2011. Also, downloading was common among people until 2014 with highest ration by upto 42. In 2013, downloads overtook CDs purchase with 40% and suddenly in 2016began to downturn after 2015. CDs sales, on the contrary, recorded a dramatic decline over the given period of time. Moreover, people did not show any interest in streams by 2013, while after 2014 this method rocketed with high speed and overtook CDs and downloads in 2016 and 2017 respectively. In the final year, streams reached at peak point with approximately 40 % which was highest at all sales.
The proportion of music buying habits between 2011 and 2018
is illustrated
by the provided linear representation. It presents three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
methods Such as streaming, downloading and CD.
Overall
, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart that there was a
You used an adverb ('steadily') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('decline') instead of another adjective.
steadily decline
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
of music by CD and download.
However
, the ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streams
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
upward trend over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time period. Initiating at 55% of physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of music, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streams
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5 in the 2011.
Also
, downloading was common among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
until 2014 with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
ration by
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
42. In 2013, downloads overtook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
with 40% and
suddenly
in 2016began to downturn after 2015.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
,
on the contrary
, recorded a dramatic decline over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period of time.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
any interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streams
by 2013, while after 2014 this method rocketed with high speed and overtook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
and downloads in 2016 and 2017
respectively
. In the final year,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streams
reached at peak point with approximately 40 % which was highest at all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
.
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IELTS academic Writing task 1 line graph: percentage of music sale by three methods

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
175 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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