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writing task 1-fishing boats and fish caught

writing task 1-fishing boats and fish caught oRqGw
The firs chart shows how many swordfish and tuna were caught near Westhaven between 2008 and 2011. The second chart shows how many fishing boats there were in Westhaven during the same period. With regards to the number of fish caught which was tuna and swordfish, around 75. 000 and 65. 000 fish were caught near Westhaven in the first year, 2008 (respectively). During the next three years, the number of tuna fish caught increased steadily and reached the highest value (about 110. 000). In terms of that of swordfish caught, by the final year it showed a fluctuation and went up to around 105. 000 which was the highest. At the beginning of the period, the number of fishing boats were 50 in 2008 and then rose around 55 in 2009 before the decrease (around 45) in 2010. Nevertheless, it climbed at 70 in the last year, 2011. Overall, the number of fishing boats that were used did not affect the number of tuna which were caught. However, it did appear to affect the number of swordfish. When there were more boats, more swordfish were caught.
The firs chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
swordfish and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tuna
were caught
near
Possible spelling mistake found.
Westhaven
between 2008 and 2011. The second chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boats
there were in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Westhaven
during the same period.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of fish caught which was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tuna
and swordfish,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
75. 000 and 65. 000 fish
were caught
near
Possible spelling mistake found.
Westhaven
in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, 2008 (
respectively
). During the
next
three years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tuna
fish caught increased
steadily
and reached the highest value (about 110. 000). In terms of that of swordfish caught, by the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a fluctuation and went up to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
105. 000 which was the highest.

At the beginning of the period, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of fishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boats
were 50 in 2008 and then rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
55 in 2009
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(around
45) in 2010.
Nevertheless
, it climbed at 70 in the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, 2011.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of fishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boats
that were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
did not affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tuna
which
were caught
.
However
, it did appear to affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of swordfish. When there were more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boats
, more swordfish
were caught
.

IELTS academic writing task 1-fishing boats and fish caught

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
187 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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