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When families have meal hen families have meal together it is considered to social activity. Do you think eating together is important to people in your country?

When families have meal hen families have meal together it is considered to social activity. Do you think eating together is important to people in your country? 2brgk
When some people gather together it is considering as a social activity. Having meal together is a symbol of unity. In my country people love to have food together. As it is common saying “ Family that eats together stays together”. In my culture, families prefer to have meal together at one table this strengthens the bound between them. For example, having dinner together is a great opportunity for every member to discus their daily activities. Also it is the way to be more connected and updated of your sibling and parents. In my home we usually discuss our problem to our father and mother at our dinner. Furthermore, I would like to say is family mealtime is the perfect thing to teach appropriate manners, etiquette and social skills. However, in developing countries time runs too fast people are busy with their work and do not have enough time for the family for which they are working to feed. Parents are engaged with their jobs paying less attention to family get to gather. In result losing the connection. To put in a nutshell, I pen down saying that when the family eats together, it is considering as social event. In conclusion, what matters most in this world are those people who stick with you, either you are in your ups and downs in your life and that’s your family, so make time for them and have meal together.
When
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gather together it is considering as a social activity. Having meal together is a symbol of unity. In my country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to have food together.

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
it is common saying
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
“
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
that eats
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
together stays together
”. In my culture,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
prefer to have meal together at one table this strengthens the bound between them.
For example
, having dinner together is a great opportunity for every member to discus their daily activities.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
it is the way to be more connected and updated of your sibling and parents. In my home we
usually
discuss our problem to our father and mother at our dinner.
Furthermore
, I would like to say is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
mealtime is the perfect thing to teach appropriate manners, etiquette and social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

However
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
time runs too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busy with their work and do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
for which they are working to feed. Parents
are engaged
with their jobs paying less attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to gather. In result losing the connection.

To put in a nutshell, I pen down saying that when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
eats together, it is considering as social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.
In conclusion
, what matters most in this world are those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who stick with you, either you are in your ups and downs in your life and that’s your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
time for them and have meal together.
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IELTS academic When families have meal hen families have meal together it is considered to social activity. Do you think eating together is important to people in your country?

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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