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The diagram illustrates how electriciy is generated from hydro-electric power.

The diagram illustrates how electriciy is generated from hydro-electric power. RNy6k
The diagram illustrates how electriciy is generated from hydro-electric power. Overall, before electricity is transmitted to consumers, it harnesses sea water as power, undergoing two natural steps untill it fills resevoir, where it generates electricity in turbine attached to structure through voltage cables. First of all, sea water is heated under the sun, which becomes steam, creating bunch of clouds. After that, it starts to rain, whereupon filling reservior behind the dam. When reservior is sufficiently filled, openned dam directs the water down to valve. Next, water flows downhill through tunnel to turbines in case when valve is opened. Flow of water rotates blades of turbine thus generating electricity, transmitted to transformer station via high voltage cables. Subsequently, city facilities such as hospitals, schools, factories and dwellings can harness electricity, transferred by underground cables, which have access to those facilities, from transformer station. On the other hand, after turbines activated due to water flow, surplus water then diverted to pump through straight path underground. Following this, superfluous water is pumped back up to reservoir.
The diagram illustrates how
Possible spelling mistake found.
electriciy
is generated
from hydro-electric power.
Overall
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
is transmitted
to consumers, it harnesses sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
as power, undergoing two natural steps
Possible spelling mistake found.
untill
it fills
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resevoir
, where it generates
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electricity
in
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turbine
attached to structure through voltage cables.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is heated
under the sun, which becomes steam, creating
It seems that an article is missing.
bunch of
clouds. After that, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to rain, whereupon filling
Possible spelling mistake found.
reservior
behind the dam. When
Possible spelling mistake found.
reservior
is
sufficiently
filled,
Possible spelling mistake found.
openned
dam directs the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
down to valve.
Next
,
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water
flows downhill through tunnel to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turbines
in case when valve
is opened
. Flow of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
rotates blades of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turbine
thus
generating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
, transmitted to transformer station via high voltage cables.
Subsequently
, city facilities such as hospitals, schools, factories and dwellings can harness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
, transferred by underground cables, which have access to those facilities, from transformer station.

On the other hand
, after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turbines
activated due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
flow, surplus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
then diverted to pump through straight path underground. Following this, superfluous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is pumped
back up to reservoir.
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IELTS academic The diagram illustrates how electriciy is generated from hydro-electric power.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
174 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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