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This chart shows the percentage of women employed in four countries over an interval of twenty years. Information is shown for the USA, Korea, Afghanistan, and France from 1985 to 2005.

This chart shows the percentage of women employed in four countries over an interval of twenty years. Information is shown for the USA, Korea, Afghanistan, and France from 1985 to 2005. WpQW
This chart shows the percentage of women employed in four countries over an interval of twenty years. Information is shown for the USA, Korea, Afghanistan, and France from 1985 to 2005. The United States shows a steady increase from 1985 until 2000. The percentage of women employed then drops slightly and is lower for the year 2005. In Korea, there is a steady twenty-year rise with no decrease in the rate of employment for women. For ten years from 1985 to 1995, Afghanistan's percentage of employed women increases. After 1995, however, there is a substantial drop to about 10 percent in the year 2000. This goes down further in 2005. France's percentage of employed women falls slightly in the first five years of the period shown then increases continuously until 2005. According to the chart, all countries have a higl1er percentage of employed women in 2005 than in 1985 except for Afghanistan. Among the other countries, the USA and France are the only ones where the majority of women are employed in the year 2005. (
This chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the percentage of women

employed in four countries over an interval of

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
twenty
years. Information
is shown
for the USA,

Korea, Afghanistan, and France from 1985 to

2005.

The United States
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a steady increase from

1985 until 2000. The percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
employed

then drops
slightly
and is lower for the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
year


2005. In Korea, there is a steady twenty-year
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
rise


with no decrease in the rate of employment for

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
women
. For ten years from 1985 to 1995, Afghanistan's

percentage of employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
increases.

After 1995,
however
, there is a substantial drop to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
about
10 percent in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000. This goes
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
down


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
further
in 2005. France's percentage of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
employed


Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "woman falls".
women falls
slightly
in the
first
five years of the

period shown then increases
continuously
until

2005.

According to the chart, all countries have a higl1er

percentage of employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in 2005 than in

1985
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
Afghanistan. Among the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
other


countries, the USA and France are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ones

where the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are employed
in the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
year
2005.

Unpaired symbol: ')' seems to be missing
(
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IELTS academic This chart shows the percentage of women employed in four countries over an interval of twenty years. Information is shown for the USA, Korea, Afghanistan, and France from 1985 to 2005.

Academic
  American English
23 paragraphs
175 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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