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the two pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992

the two pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992 m1bnr
The provided pie charts give information about the portion of female and male who worked on manual and non-manual in 6 diffrent categories in UK in the year 1992. It is clear from the graph that in Craft or similar jobs men had more proportion than women, However ladies made an impressive contribution in Clerical jobs. rafts account for a quarter of all male employment in the year 1992 which is 8 times greater than the same job for female. About 36 percent of men did managerial jobs in that year, while this figure was just below 30 percent in women the same year. Men who work as Labours constituted a minority (only 2 percent) of totall employment in 1992, and this number was almost similar in women. 31 percent of women formed Clerical or related works that this fairly a bit more amount of five fold of men. Almost near 10 percent of women did Other non-manual works, so long as this figure in men were 6 pervent which was around two thirds of men. The lowest difference belonged to General labourers and Other manual works but the difference is that women got the higher postion of the men in Other manual works.
The provided pie charts give information about the portion of female and male who worked on manual and non-manual in 6
Possible spelling mistake found.
diffrent
categories in UK in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1992.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph that in Craft or similar jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
had more proportion than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
,
However
ladies made an impressive contribution in Clerical jobs.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
rafts
account for a quarter of all male employment in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1992 which is 8 times greater than the same job for female. About 36
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
did managerial jobs in that
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year
, while this figure was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
the same
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year
.
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Men
who
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work
as
Possible spelling mistake. 'Labours' is British English.
Labours
constituted a minority (
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2
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percent)
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
totall
employment in 1992, and this number was almost similar in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women. 31
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
formed Clerical or related works that this
fairly
a bit more amount of five
Possible agreement error. The noun 'fold' seems to be countable, so consider using: "folds".
fold
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. Almost near 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
did Other non-manual works,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
long as this figure in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
were 6
Possible spelling mistake found.
pervent
which was around two thirds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. The lowest difference belonged to General
Possible spelling mistake found.
labourers
and Other manual works
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the difference is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the higher
Possible spelling mistake found.
postion
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in Other manual works.

IELTS academic the two pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
204 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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