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The proportion of water use

The proportion of water use aqPD7
The pie charts below illustrate the proportion of total water consumption by various factors from 1997 to 2007. Overall, the amount of water used for food industry accounted for the biggest, the building industry made up the least of total water usage during the period of 10 years from 1997 to 2007. In 1997, the most significant percentage of 48% belonged to food industry. However, this sector slightly decreased to 41% in 2007 but it still remained as the largest sector. Next, household use and service industry took the second place, comprised a proportion of 19% and 13% in 1997. After that, they dramatically increased to about 21% and 25% in 2007. Manufacturing and the building industry witnessed a slight decline in segment of water used, falling to 11% and 3%, respectively, of total water usage in 2007.
The pie charts below illustrate the proportion of total
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water
consumption by various factors from 1997 to 2007.
Overall
, the amount of
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water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for food
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industry
accounted for the biggest, the building
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industry
made up the least of total
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water
usage during the period of 10 years from 1997 to 2007.

In 1997, the most significant percentage of 48% belonged to food
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industry
.
However
, this sector
slightly
decreased to 41% in 2007
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but
it
still
remained as the largest sector.
Next
, household
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use
and service
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industry
took the second place, comprised a proportion of 19% and 13% in 1997. After that, they
dramatically
increased to about 21% and 25% in 2007. Manufacturing and the building
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industry
witnessed a slight decline in segment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, falling to 11% and 3%,
respectively
, of total
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water
usage in 2007.
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IELTS academic The proportion of water use

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
138 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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