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Pie chart of task 1from Cambridge official book 4 test 4

Pie chart of task 1from Cambridge official book 4 test 4 wx2GN
The pie chart shows, residents of united kindgdom travelers compare with other countries travelers who visit in one to another countries followed by the pie chart. Firstly, from 1979 to 1999, approximately 10 millions to almost 30 millions foreign visitors visits UK, When at the same time british residents been abroad over ten millions in 1979 and gradually had really been increased just over 50 millions untill 1999. On average English inhabitants are more straight forward through visits overseas countries rather than many others countries. In additions, the last comparison suggests that the British peaple love to visits many countries such as, France, Spain, USA, Greece, and Turkey followed by the chart above. Uk residents had mostly traveled in the year of 1999 more than 10 millions into the France. On the other hands, in the same year british citizens visited Spain near of 10 millions, when they are visited less than 5 millions in the USA and less amount of USA than Greece and same order to Turkey. In conclusion, British residents do more travel than mentioned countries in the year between 1979 to 1999. They are mostly traveled in the France and less traveld in the Turkey.
The pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
,
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residents
of united
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kindgdom
travelers compare with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
travelers who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
in one to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
followed by the pie chart.

Firstly
, from 1979 to 1999, approximately 10
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millions
to almost 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
foreign visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visits
UK, When at the same time
Possible spelling mistake found.
british
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
been abroad over ten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
in 1979 and
gradually
had
really
been increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 50
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millions
Possible spelling mistake found.
untill
1999.

On average English inhabitants are more straight forward through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visits
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others countries.

In additions, the last comparison suggests that the British
Possible spelling mistake found.
peaple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as, France, Spain, USA, Greece, and Turkey followed by the chart above.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Uk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
had
mostly
traveled in the year of 1999 more than 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
into the France. On the other hands, in the same year
Possible spelling mistake found.
british
citizens visited Spain near of 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
, when they
are visited
less than 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
in the USA and less amount
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
than Greece and same order to Turkey.

In conclusion
, British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
do more travel than mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the year
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1979 and 1999".
between 1979 to 1999
. They are
mostly
traveled in the

France and less
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveld
in the Turkey.

IELTS academic Pie chart of task 1from Cambridge official book 4 test 4

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
199 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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