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THE MAPS SHOWS TWO POSSIBLE SITES FOR NEW SUPERMARKET IN GARLDSON TOWN

THE MAPS SHOWS TWO POSSIBLE SITES FOR NEW SUPERMARKET IN GARLDSON TOWN BYdAa
the map indicates the new project of two recommend sites (s1 and s2) for a new supermarket in garldson town. overall, two given sites are located in different place, the s2 is in the town center while s1 is in the countryside. as can be seen the first site is to the north-west of the center which is only 12 km to hindon population of 10k. situated between railway and main road both running from the town center to the northwest side, it is convenient for residents in hindon to get there more easier and faster as the second choice for new supermarket- which inside the center and housing area, this proposed site is likely to have more advantages, it is in closer than s1 in two places, 16km to brandson with 15k population and 25km to crandson 29k population which more appropriate for those living there. there are two main street from south-east and south-west to the town center, however the only drawback is not allow traffic to come in, people can only get there by train or walking.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
map indicates the new project of two recommend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
(s1 and s2) for a new supermarket in
Possible spelling mistake found.
garldson
town.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
, two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
are located
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
place, the s2 is in the town center while s1 is in the countryside.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
is to the north-west of the center which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
12 km to
Possible spelling mistake found.
hindon
population of 10k.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
situated
between railway and main road both running from the town center to the northwest side, it is convenient for residents in
Possible spelling mistake found.
hindon
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
there
Use only "easier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more easier
and faster as the second choice for new supermarket- which inside the center and housing area, this proposed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
is likely to have more advantages, it is in closer than s1 in two places,
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "16 km"
16km
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
brandson
with 15k population and
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "25 km"
25km
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
crandson
29k population which more appropriate for those living there.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
are two main
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "streets"?
street
from south-east and south-west to the town center,
however
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
drawback is not
Consider using a past participle here: "allowed".
allow
traffic to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
there by train or walking.
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IELTS academic THE MAPS SHOWS TWO POSSIBLE SITES FOR NEW SUPERMARKET IN GARLDSON TOWN

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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