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the maps show the development of a area from 1965 to now

the maps show the development of a area from 1965 to now 669KB
The pictures illustrate an area surrounding a river after some developments from 1965 to now. Overall, the town has been completely transformed after the construction of several facilities. As can be seen from the plans, the most notable change taking place in the area is the appearance of the road bridge which replaces the ferry. As can be seen from the northwest side of the river, the forest was demolished to make way for a car park. There are many accommodations which includes apartments and housing constructed on the other side of the river. At the central residential area, a car park was erected and accessed from the main bridge via a small path. The south of the map witnessed the construction of some houses along the road bridge. In addition, yacht marina and car park are going to opened in 2018. Also, foot bridge is expected to be built parallel to the main road by 2018.
The pictures illustrate an area surrounding a river after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developments from 1965 to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

Overall
, the town has been completely transformed after the construction of several facilities. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the plans, the most notable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
taking place in the area is the appearance of the road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bridge
which replaces the ferry.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the northwest side of the river, the forest
was demolished
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for a car park. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
accommodations which includes apartments and housing constructed on the other side of the river. At the central residential area, a car park
was erected
and accessed from the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bridge
via a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
path.

The south of the map witnessed the construction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
along the road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bridge
.
In addition
, yacht marina and car park are going to
It seems that a verb is missing in front of the adjective "opened".
opened
in 2018.
Also
, foot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bridge
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
be built
parallel to the main road by 2018.
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IELTS academic the maps show the development of a area from 1965 to now

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
157 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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