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The maps below show exports of rubber ducks from 2013 to 2017.

The maps below show exports of rubber ducks from 2013 to 2017. 2R2Y6
The provided information which has been displayed on the line graph shows the number of rubber ducks which are exported by three different nations over the periods of 4 year commencing in 2013. Looking at the graph, it is immediately obvious that the export of rubber ducks in Eu and UK experienced an upward trend from 2013 to 2017 with the exception of USA. From the beginning in 2013, the amount of exported rubber ducks in EU was the highest which accounted for 30000. In Eu, this figure rose dramatically before reduced significantly to approximately 22000 between 2013 and 2015. There was a gradually increase in the export of rubber ducks in UK from 20000 to nearly 24000 in the same period. The amount of it among Eu and UK both increased significantly to about 40000 in 2017. In contrast, there was a rise in the amount of exported rubber ducks in USA from 10000 to 15000 between 2013 and 2014, after that it witnessed a gradually reduction to nearly 3000 in the end of the period.
The provided information which has
been displayed
on the line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rubber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ducks
which
are exported
by three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations over the periods of 4 year commencing in 2013. Looking at the graph, it is immediately obvious that the export of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rubber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ducks
in Eu and UK experienced an upward trend from 2013 to 2017
Consider using "except" or "except for"
with the exception of
USA. From the beginning in 2013, the amount of exported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rubber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ducks
in EU was the highest which accounted for 30000. In Eu, this figure rose
dramatically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
significantly
to approximately 22000 between 2013 and 2015. There was a
You used an adverb ('gradually') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('increase') instead of another adjective.
gradually increase
in the export of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rubber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ducks
in UK from 20000 to
nearly
24000 in the same period. The amount of it among Eu and UK both increased
significantly
to about 40000 in 2017.
In contrast
, there was a rise in the amount of exported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rubber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ducks
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
from 10000 to 15000 between 2013 and 2014, after that it witnessed a
You used an adverb ('gradually') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('reduction') instead of another adjective.
gradually reduction
to
nearly
3000 in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
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IELTS academic The maps below show exports of rubber ducks from 2013 to 2017.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
177 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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