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The line graph illustrates the changes in terms of average temperature in different months of a year in three African nations

The line graph illustrates the changes in terms of average temperature in different months of a year in three African nations 0EgAQ
The line graph illustrates the changes in terms of average temperature in different months of a year in three African nations namely Kenya, Egypt and South Africa. Unit is measured in temperature of Fahrenheit degree. Overall, the weather pattern in Egypt is quite opposite Kenya and South Africa. Furthermore, the temperature in Egypt is the hottest in June while there has been a slight change in two other countries during the year. In Egypt, the temperature in January is the coldest and reaches 55 degrees Fahrenheit. By contrast, Kenya and South Africa have higher temperatures, respectively 70 and 80 degrees Fahrenheit in the first month of the year. The temperature in Egypt increases sharply, in contrast to Kenya and South Africa still have some similarities among three months. The trends show upward and exceeding the temperature of Egypt in June that reach the peak of 83 degree Fahrenheit through the period shown. Whereas, the temperature in South Africa falls dramatically and reaches 55 degrees Fahrenheit in the half of the year. During the year, the temperature in Kenya has a slight decline and just below 75 degrees Fahrenheit in June. After June, the temperature in Egypt and South Africa have a big difference, with Egypt decreasing to the lowest temperature and South Africa climbing up to initial status.
The line graph illustrates the
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changes
in terms of average
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temperature
in
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different
months of a year in three African nations
namely
Kenya, Egypt and South Africa. Unit
is measured
in
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temperature
of Fahrenheit degree.

Overall
, the weather pattern in Egypt is quite opposite Kenya and South Africa.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
in Egypt is the hottest in June while there has been a slight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in two other countries during the year.

In Egypt, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
in January is the coldest and reaches 55
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degrees
Fahrenheit. By contrast, Kenya and South Africa have higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperatures
,
respectively
70 and 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
Fahrenheit in the
first
month of the year. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
in Egypt increases
sharply
,
in contrast
to Kenya and South Africa
still
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
similarities among three months. The trends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
upward and exceeding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
of Egypt in June that reach the peak of 83
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
Fahrenheit through the period shown. Whereas, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
in South Africa falls
dramatically
and reaches 55
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
Fahrenheit in the half of the year.

During the year, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
in Kenya has a slight decline and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 75
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
Fahrenheit in June. After June, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
in Egypt and South Africa have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difference, with Egypt decreasing to the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
and South Africa climbing up to initial status.
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IELTS academic The line graph illustrates the changes in terms of average temperature in different months of a year in three African nations

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
218 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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