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The line graph gives information about the figure of library books read by male and female students at Starmouth School from 2009 to 2012.

The line graph gives information about the figure of library books read by male and female students at Starmouth School from 2009 to 2012. ewJBV
The line graph gives information about the figure of library books read by male and female students at Starmouth School from 2009 to 2012. As we can see in the graph, the number of books read by the boys was higher than those read by girls. There was a slight rise in the number of books read by boys from 2009 to 2010. This number continued to rise and reached a peak of 100 in 2011. Then, it decreased by 20 in the next year. The figure of books read by girls increased steadily over years. The number rose from about 25 to 40 in 2010 and 100 in 2011 respectively. After that, there was a significant increase in numbers in 2012, it peaked at 140. Overall, the figure of library books read by both male and female students increased over time. Although, there was a slight fall in the number of books read by boys in 2012.
The line graph gives information about the figure of library
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books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
by male and female students at
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Starmouth
School from 2009 to 2012.

As we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in the graph, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
by the boys was higher than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
by girls. There was a slight rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
by boys from 2009 to 2010. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
continued to rise and reached a peak of 100 in 2011. Then, it decreased by 20 in the
next
year.

The figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "reads"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'read' is not always incorrect.)
read
by girls increased
steadily
over years. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
rose from about 25 to 40 in 2010 and 100 in 2011
respectively
. After that, there was a significant increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
in 2012, it peaked at 140.

Overall
, the figure of library
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
by both male and female students increased over time.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, there was a slight fall in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
by boys in 2012.
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IELTS academic The line graph gives information about the figure of library books read by male and female students at Starmouth School from 2009 to 2012.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
158 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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