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The line graph demonstrates the percentage of UK population who are aged over 4 years old following the radio and television during the October-December period 1992

The line graph demonstrates the percentage of UK population who are aged over 4 years old following the radio and television during the October-December period 1992 m3NJn
The line graph compares the proportion of UK residents over the age of 4 years old who listened to the radio and watched television during two months in1992 From 6 am, radio listeners increased sharply by 30% and peaked at 8 am with 37%. During the same period, TV viewers only increased by 10% and reached 12% at 8 am. After 8 a. m. , radio listeners begin to decline sharply. The opposite is true for TV watchers. At 12 noon, both TV and radio are 20%. After that, the percentage of people watching the radio still tends to increase, and the radio has a downtrend. At 6: 00 pm, the number of TV users is the most reaching 60%, this number is 4 times higher than that of radio users with only 15%, then TV viewing decreases sharply, radio listeners decrease slightly and fluctuate around 10 %. At 2 o'clock at night, both people watch TV and listen to the radio at the same 10%. Then they both decrease slightly until 6 am. In brief, the number of TV and radio audiences varies according to different phases of time probably due to the different features of these two media.
The line graph compares the proportion of UK residents over the age of 4 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
who listened to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
television during two months in1992

From 6 am,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
listeners increased
sharply
by 30% and peaked at 8 am with 37%. During the same period, TV viewers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increased by 10% and reached 12% at 8 am. After 8 a. m.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
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radio
listeners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to decline
sharply
. The opposite is true for TV watchers. At 12 noon, both TV and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
are 20%. After that, the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
still
tends to increase, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
has a downtrend.

At 6: 00 pm, the number of TV users is the most reaching 60%, this number is 4 times higher than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
users with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15%, then TV viewing decreases
sharply
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
listeners decrease
slightly
and fluctuate around 10 %. At 2 o'clock at night, both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV and listen to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
at the same 10%. Then they both decrease
slightly
until 6 am.
In brief
, the number of TV and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
audiences varies according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
phases of time
probably
due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
features of these two media.
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IELTS academic The line graph demonstrates the percentage of UK population who are aged over 4 years old following the radio and television during the October-December period 1992

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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