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The line chart illustrates the proportion of dwellers in Australia coming from Asia, the UK and other regions between 1976 and 2011.

The line chart illustrates the proportion of dwellers in Australia coming from Asia, the UK and other regions between 1976 and 2011. E7MyR
The line chart illustrates the proportion of dwellers in Australia coming from Asia, the UK and other regions between 1976 and 2011. Overall, the percentages of Australian residents originating from Asia and other regions went up over the period given, while that of those from the UK decreased. Noticeably, the total rate increased since the uptrend dominated the chart throughout 35 years. With regard to the composition of people living in Australia who were born in Asia, it began at about 2. 6% in the first year. After that, this number rose dramatically to exactly 15% in 2011. Likewise, the rate of people who came from other regions accounted for roughly 12. 5% in 1976 before falling to just over 7. 5% in 1986. Then, it increased significantly to around 17. 5% in 2006 before dropping to just over 12. 5% in the last year. Coming to the percentages of immigrants from the UK, it initiated approximately 13. 5% in 1976. After 35 years, this number declined dramatically and hit the lowest point of exactly 5% in the last year. In the first year, the total accounted for about 23%, then, it decreased noticeably to just over 20% before going up rapidly to exactly 25% in 2011.
The line chart illustrates the proportion of dwellers in Australia coming from Asia, the UK and other regions between 1976 and 2011.

Overall
, the percentages of Australian residents originating from Asia and other regions went up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, while that of those from the UK decreased.
Noticeably
, the total rate increased since the uptrend dominated the chart throughout 35 years.

With regard to the composition of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in Australia who
were born
in Asia, it began at about 2. 6% in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. After that, this number rose
dramatically
to exactly 15% in 2011.
Likewise
, the rate of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who came from other regions accounted for roughly 12. 5% in 1976
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
falling to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
7. 5% in 1986. Then, it increased
significantly
to around 17. 5% in 2006
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
dropping to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
12. 5% in the
‘last year’ indicates a finished event of the past. Please check the predicate's tense.
last year
.

Coming to the percentages of immigrants from the UK, it initiated approximately 13. 5% in 1976. After 35 years, this number declined
dramatically
and hit the lowest point of exactly 5% in the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. In the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, the total accounted for about 23%, then, it decreased
noticeably
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
20%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going up
rapidly
to exactly 25% in 2011.

IELTS academic The line chart illustrates the proportion of dwellers in Australia coming from Asia, the UK and other regions between 1976 and 2011.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
207 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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