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The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. VxQD
The graph illustrates the enrollment of overseas and Australian citizens for the university over a decade. Overall, there is a high trend in the local students compared to overseas students which shows the local students has dramatically increase in number from the year 2001- 2007 which is 400000 to 60000 students in total. Whereas the overseas students has a rapid growth in the university enrollment from the year 2001 – 2010 the number of the students in 2001 is 200000 and 800000 which is a rapid growth in number in total. While in the begging, compared to local students the overseas students has a low start which is approximately 100000 students whereas the local students has a good number of students nearly 20000 and has variations overall the decade and lastly in the year it has a down fall from 210000 to 20000 students. The overseas students have a gradually increase in number of students from the stating of the year 2001 to 2010 the students number is 40000. To conclude, in contrast the enrollment of overseas has a low number than local Australian residents which has reached the top overall the decade.
The graph illustrates the enrollment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
and Australian citizens for the university over a decade.

Overall
, there is a high trend in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
has
dramatically
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "increased".
increase
in
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number
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
2001- 2007
which is 400000 to 60000
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students
in total. Whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
has a rapid growth in the university enrollment from the
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year
2001 – 2010 the
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number
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in 2001 is 200000 and 800000 which is a rapid growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
in total.

While in the begging, compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
has a low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
which is approximately 100000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
nearly
20000 and has variations
overall
the decade and
lastly
in the
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year
it has a down fall from 210000 to 20000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have a
You used an adverb ('gradually') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('increase') instead of another adjective.
gradually increase
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from the stating of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2001 to 2010 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
is 40000.

To conclude
,
in contrast
the enrollment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
has a low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
Australian residents which has reached the top
overall
the decade.

IELTS academic The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
193 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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