Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The graph shows the information about the people in different ages who visited music concerts

The graph shows the information about the people in different ages who visited music concerts bxlW3
The supplied illustration describes the comparison of percentages of people in various age groups in a city who visited music concerts between the period of 2010 and 2015 years. Observing from an overall perspective, it is seen, that the amount of attenders in 2010 and 2015 were different from each other according to the fluctuations happened over the period. The given graph shows that in 2010 the highest point was by group of people who are between 45-54 years with their nearly 50%. In contrast, people who were over 75 years had only 10% that made it as the lowest indicator. There was a same two of fifth visitors’ percentage between two age groups, that both of them were under 44 years. The last age group that contained people, aged by 55-64 years showed about 25% of all concert participants. 2015 saw sudden results in percentages compared to their initially positions. So, visitors who were between 16-24 years showed a sharp rise and stopped at 70%, which was the highest point in that 5 years. In fact, second group with 45-54 ages had a negligible rise and consisted about 55%. Moreover, 25-44 and 75+ age groups showed a big leap and recovered percentages by extra 10% then had respectively 48% and 20% at the end. Only one group with people who were between 55-64 years plumed to 21%.
The supplied illustration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the comparison of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
in a city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
visited music concerts between the period of 2010 and 2015 years. Observing from an
overall
perspective, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, that the amount of attenders in 2010 and 2015 were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from each other according to the fluctuations happened over the period.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that in 2010 the highest point was by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are between 45-54 years with their
nearly
50%.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were over 75 years had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% that made it as the lowest indicator. There was a same two of fifth visitors’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
, that both of them were under 44 years. The last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
that contained
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, aged by 55-64 years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
about 25% of all concert participants.

2015
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
sudden results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
compared to their
initially
positions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were between 16-24 years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a sharp rise and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
at 70%, which was the highest point in that 5 years. In fact, second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
with 45-54
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
had a negligible rise and consisted about 55%.
Moreover
, 25-44 and 75+
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
leap and recovered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
by extra 10% then had
respectively
48% and 20% at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were between 55-64 years plumed to 21%.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The graph shows the information about the people in different ages who visited music concerts

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
228 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The graph shows the information about the people in different ages who visited music concerts