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The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries 2prb
The graph illustrates the percentage of people aged 65 and over from 1940 to 2040 in Japan, Sweden and USA. It can be seen that life expectancy of old people increased in all three countries. The most noticeable trend is of Japan, where this expectancy is predicted to rise considerably in the future. According to the chart, in 1940, the percentage of aged 65 or over people was just under 10 in USA as compared to Sweden (7% ), while less number of old people lived in that year in Japan ( about 5% ). The figures for Life expectancy of older citizens in 1990 was the same for USA and Sweden, at about 14 percent, and decreased even further in Japan, around 3. 5 percent. The life expectancy is predicted to rise in every country, which will be 23% and 25 percent in 1940 in Sweden and USA respectively. Most astonishing figure is for Japan, where more old people will live long in the future ( 27 percent in 1940 ) as compared to other 2 countries.
The graph illustrates the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aged 65 and over from 1940 to 2040 in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, Sweden and USA.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that life expectancy of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
increased in all three countries. The most noticeable trend is of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, where this expectancy
is predicted
to rise
considerably
in the future.

According to the chart, in 1940, the percentage of aged 65 or over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 10
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
as compared to Sweden (7%
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
, while less number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in that year in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
about 5%
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
. The figures for Life expectancy of older citizens in 1990 was the same
A determiner is probably missing here: "for the USA".
for USA
and Sweden, at about 14 percent, and decreased even
further
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, around 3. 5 percent.

The life expectancy
is predicted
to rise in every country, which will be 23% and 25 percent in 1940 in Sweden and USA
respectively
. Most astonishing figure is for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, where more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
long in the future
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
27 percent in 1940
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
as compared to other 2 countries.

IELTS academic The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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