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the graph below shows the percentage of self employed workers of the total workspace in five countries in 1998 and 2008.summarise the information.

the graph below shows the percentage of self employed workers of the total workspace in five countries in 1998 and 2008. 7BxY
The given column graph illustrates the percentage of who were doing their own work, out of all employed people in five countries, in 1998 and 2008. It is manifest from the graph that the Turks and Greeks were more interested in entrepreneurship than the Russians, Slovakians and the Czechs. The percentage of the self employed people from the Russian Republic, Slovakia and the Czechs Republic was 5%, 7% and 11% respectively, in 1998. However, in just a decade the percentage rose in all the three countries and reached 7, 12 and 14 % respectively, by 2008. The people of Greece and Turkey doing their own business were 45% and 56% respectively, but decreased to 35 and 39% respectively by 2008. Overall it is interesting to see that although the percentage of entrepreneurs in the Russian Republic, Slovakia and the Czech Republic were much lesser than those in Greece and Turkey, their interest in doing their own work grew with time. Whereas, the people of Greece and Turkey were much more who were running their own business, but their interest in doing their own work dwindled with time.
The
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given
column graph illustrates the
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percentage
of who were
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doing
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
work, out of all employed
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people
in five countries, in 1998 and 2008. It is manifest from the graph that the Turks and Greeks were more interested in entrepreneurship than the Russians,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Slovakians
and the Czechs. The
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percentage
of the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self employed
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people
from the Russian Republic, Slovakia and the Czechs Republic was 5%, 7% and 11%
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respectively
, in 1998.
However
, in
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just
a decade the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
rose in all the three countries and reached 7, 12 and 14 %
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respectively
, by 2008. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of Greece and Turkey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business were 45% and 56%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respectively
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
decreased to 35 and 39%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respectively
by 2008.
Overall
it is interesting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of entrepreneurs in the Russian Republic, Slovakia and the Czech Republic were much lesser than those in Greece and Turkey, their interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
work grew with time. Whereas, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of Greece and Turkey were much more who were running their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
work dwindled with time.
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IELTS academic the graph below shows the percentage of self employed workers of the total workspace in five countries in 1998 and 2008.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
187 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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