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The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009 gkMl
The line graph displays alterations for burglary, car theft and robbery in the centre of Manchester between 2003 and 2012 The most noticeable trend is that burglary fell dramatically over the period. Car theft fluctuated until 2008, upon which it rose steadily; whereas the number of robberies remained relatively stable between 2003 and 2012. Burglaries started at just below three and a half thousand in 2003 and apart from a small rise of around five hundred offences in 2004, fell drastically to just over one thousand incidents in 2008. 2009 saw a slight rise to just below fifteen hundred in 2009 and it remained in and around this figure until the end of the time period. From 2003 to 2008 the number of car thefts shifted between just below two thousand five hundred and just over two thousand, before rising steadily to nearly three thousand in 2013. Over the entire period robbery never rose above one thousand and did not go under five hundred.
The line graph displays alterations for burglary, car theft and robbery in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of Manchester

between 2003 and 2012

The most noticeable trend is that burglary fell
dramatically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the period. Car theft
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
fluctuated


until 2008, upon which it rose
steadily
; whereas the number of robberies remained
relatively
stable

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
between
2003 and 2012.

Burglaries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below three and a half thousand in 2003 and apart from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
rise of

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
around
five hundred
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
in 2004, fell
drastically
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
one thousand incidents in 2008.

2009
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a slight rise to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below fifteen hundred in 2009 and it remained in and around this

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
figure
until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the time period.

From 2003 to 2008 the number of car thefts shifted between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below two thousand five hundred

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
two thousand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
rising
steadily
to
nearly
three thousand in 2013.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Over
the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
entire


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
period
robbery never rose above one thousand and did not go under five
Possible agreement error. The noun 'hundred' seems to be countable, so consider using: "hundreds".
hundred
.

IELTS academic The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009

Academic
  American English
12 paragraphs
164 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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