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the graph below shows the average growth in domestic products in wealthy countries countries that have adopted a global approach to business and countries that have not. right airport for a university lecturer describing the information below

There is a graph. This chart shows the average growth in domestic products in wealthy globalizers and non-globalizers. Overall, in wealthy countries the average growth in domestic products was step by step decreasing, in non-globalizers it was increasing, but in globalization the growth was changeable. At one period it was low, it another increased. In wealthy countries in 1960s the growth in domestic products was high around 5. 0 %In 1970s it acutely went down and became 3. 0 %. In the 1980 and 1990 it was almost similar around 2. 0% in globalisers the growth in products from 1960s to 1990s was raising. In 1960s the growth of domestic products was 1. 5%. Till 1970s it raised to 3. 0%. in 1980s the growth was 3. 2% and then it went up and became 5. 0 %. in non-globalizers the growth was changeable, firstly in 1960s to 1980s it was going up. It raised 3. 2%. Then the growth acutely reduced and became 1. 5%.
There is a graph. This chart
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shows
the average
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growth
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in wealthy
Possible spelling mistake found.
globalizers
and
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non-globalizers
.
Overall
, in wealthy countries the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
was step by step decreasing, in
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non-globalizers
it was increasing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in globalization the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
was changeable. At one period it was low, it another increased. In wealthy countries
The article is probably missing here: “in the 1960s”.
in 1960s
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
was high around 5. 0
Possible spelling mistake found.
%In
1970s it
acutely
went down and became 3. 0 %. In the 1980 and 1990 it was almost similar around 2. 0% in
Do not mix variants of the same word (‘globaliser’ and ‘globalizer’) within a single text.
globalisers
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from 1960s to 1990s was raising.
The article is probably missing here: “In the 1960s”.
In 1960s
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
was 1. 5%. Till 1970s it raised to 3. 0%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
in
1980s the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
was 3. 2% and then it went up and became 5. 0 %.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
non-globalizers
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
was changeable,
firstly
The article is probably missing here: “in the 1960s”.
in 1960s
to 1980s it was going up. It raised 3. 2%. Then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
acutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and became 1. 5%.
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IELTS academic the graph below shows the average growth in domestic products in wealthy countries countries that have adopted a global approach to business and countries that have not. right airport for a university lecturer describing the information below

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
166 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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