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The graph above compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. • You should write at least 150 words.

The graph illustrates the number of users visit to two new music on the websites during a half-month. As is observed, much more users visit to Pop Parade than Music Choice. But then, as we can see the range from day 12 to 13 witnessed a difference trends in two of music genres. In comparison to the number of users in Pop Parade, which level off at 120’000s in day 1, the figure for Music Choice stood at 40’000s at this time. There were an slight drop of half of point in the first day, before fluctuating around between 60’000s and 40’000s during the next 4 day, but later peak at above 600’000s from another sharp palpitation in day 15. While the quantity of visits of Music Choice was an oscillations about 40’000s in over the week, followed by an gradual growth of under 80’000s in final day. The only remarkable point is that the number of visits in Pop Parade were slightly less visit of users than Music Choice by 40’000s in day 12 and 13, after a sudden go up and down of two genres.
The graph illustrates the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
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visit
to two new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
on the websites during a half-month.

As
is observed
, much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
to Pop Parade than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Choice
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
then, as we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the range from day 12 to 13 witnessed a difference trends in two of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
genres.

In comparison
to the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
in Pop Parade, which level off at 120’000s in day 1, the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Choice
stood at 40’000s at this time. There were
Use “a” instead of ‘an’ if the following word doesn’t start with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘a sentence’, ‘a university’.
an
slight drop of half of point in the
first
day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
fluctuating around between 60’000s and 40’000s during the
next
4 day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
later peak at above 600’000s from another sharp palpitation in day 15. While the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Choice
was
The plural noun “oscillations” cannot be used with the article “an”. Did you mean “an oscillation”?
an oscillations
about 40’000s in over the week, followed by
Use “a” instead of ‘an’ if the following word doesn’t start with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘a sentence’, ‘a university’.
an
gradual growth of under 80’000s in final day.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
remarkable point is that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visits
in Pop Parade were
slightly
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Choice
by 40’000s in day 12 and 13, after a sudden go up and down of two genres.
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IELTS academic The graph above compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. •

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
187 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The graph above compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. • You should write at least 150 words.