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The given pie chart depicts the information about how many electricity was generated in Germany and France during 2009 by using four different types of sources.

The given pie chart depicts the information about how many electricity was generated in Germany and France during 2009 by using four different types of sources. e5KB7
The given pie chart depicts the information about how many electricity was generated in Germany and France during 2009 by using four different types of sources. To begin with German electricity, 59. 6% electricity was got by conventional. Renewable sources and nuclear had enormous strength to generate 17. 4% and 23% electricity in Germany since 2009. althought renewable had five different sources which was helped to create electricity. For example, 39. 3 % biomass, 17. 7% hydroelectric, 6. 1 % solar and 36. 9% solar sources were made electricity in German country in 2009 while geothermal was completely preposterous to generate electricity. Nuclear was wealthy source in France which was helpful to generate 76 % electricity. whereas 10. 3% conventional thermal and 30. 7% renewables were both fair things to bring electricity. However 80. 5 % hydroelectric, 0. 9% solar, 10. 5% wind and 8. 1 % biomass resources were in France to fetch electricity. Conclusion, both democratic country had adequate resources to generate electricity. Although, hydroelectric was a vital source in France to create electricity than Germany.
The
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given
pie chart depicts the information about how
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many
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electricity
was generated
in Germany and France during 2009 by using four
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different
types of sources.

To
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begin
with German
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electricity
, 59. 6%
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electricity
was
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got
by conventional. Renewable
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sources
and nuclear had enormous strength to
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generate
17. 4% and 23%
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electricity
in Germany since 2009.
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althought
renewable had five
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different
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sources
which was
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helped
to create
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electricity
.
For example
, 39. 3 % biomass, 17. 7% hydroelectric, 6. 1 % solar and 36. 9% solar
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sources
were made
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electricity
in German country in 2009 while geothermal was completely preposterous to
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generate
electricity.

Nuclear was wealthy
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source
in France which was helpful to
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generate
76 %
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electricity
.
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whereas
10. 3% conventional thermal and 30. 7% renewables were both
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fair
things to bring
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electricity
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
80. 5 % hydroelectric, 0. 9% solar, 10. 5% wind and 8. 1 % biomass resources were in France to fetch electricity.

Conclusion, both democratic country had adequate resources to
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generate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, hydroelectric was a vital
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source
in France to create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
than Germany.
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IELTS academic The given pie chart depicts the information about how many electricity was generated in Germany and France during 2009 by using four different types of sources.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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