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The given graph show information about women and men is amount of fitness membership to be 5 years period between 1970 and 2000.

The given graph show information about women and men is amount of fitness membership to be 5 years period between 1970 and 2000. XGe8Y
The given graph show information about women and men is amount of fitness membership to be 5 years period between 1970 and 2000. In general, number of women and men occurred fluctuation from 1970 to 2000. These years, the highest fitness membership belong to men. Additionally, number of men continuously ups and downs in this period. Looking in detail at the graph, in 1970, men having 2000 member doubled to women member. Likewise, in 1975, men who had 4000 members doubled to women who had 2000 members. Amount of women membership increased from 1980 to 1985. Thereby, first time, more women membership than men membership in 1985. After that, male and female’s number was about equalized. Following that, membership numbers rose up in 5 years period. But men’s quantity sharply grown to from 2000 members to 5000 members. In contrary to, in 2000, this amount dramatically dropped to 1000 members. As regards to, women’s quantity slightly decreased to 2000 members.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
information about
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women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
is amount of fitness

membership to be 5 years period between 1970 and 2000.

In general
, number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
occurred fluctuation from 1970 to 2000.

These years, the highest fitness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
belong to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
Additionally
, number of

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
continuously
ups and downs in this period.

Looking in detail at the graph, in 1970,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
having 2000
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member
doubled to women

member.
Likewise
, in 1975,
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men
who had 4000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
doubled to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who

had 2000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
. Amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
increased from 1980 to 1985.

Thereby,
first
time, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
in 1985. After

that, male and female’s number was about equalized. Following that, membership

numbers rose up in 5 years period.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men’s
quantity
sharply
grown to from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
2000 members
to 5000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
. In contrary to, in 2000, this amount
dramatically
dropped

to 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
. As regards to,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
quantity
slightly
decreased to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
2000 members
.
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IELTS academic The given graph show information about women and men is amount of fitness membership to be 5 years period between 1970 and 2000.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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