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The diagram below shows two different processes for manufacturing black tea

The diagram below shows two different processes for manufacturing black tea 2ba9J
The diagram shows the two processes for manufacturing black tea. The traditional way is used for making loose tea and modern process is ideal for teabags. When collecting tea, the tea picker picks only the two top leaves and the bud of ensure a high quality tea. Then, the tea leaves go through withering, where leaves are spread out and air is passed through withering, where leaves are spread out and air is passed through them to remove up to 60 per cent of their moisture. After that, the leaves are ready for rolling or cutting. Factories use traditional methods of rolling and crushing or faster modern methods of cutting, tearing and curling to make teabags. In both processes, natural enzymes are produced from the leaves. The next step is oxidation, where the enzymes from the leaves mix with the air. This changes the colour of the leaves from green to copper and creates a nice flavour and aroma. Finally, the leaves are fired and dried. By this stage, little moisture remains in the tea-just three per cent.
The diagram
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shows
the two processes for manufacturing black
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tea
. The traditional way is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for making loose
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tea
and modern process is ideal for teabags.

When collecting
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tea
, the
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tea
picker picks
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only
the two top
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leaves
and the bud of ensure a high quality
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tea
. Then, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
go through withering, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
are spread
out and air
is passed
through withering, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
are spread
out and air
is passed
through them to remove up to 60 per cent of their moisture.

After that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
are ready for rolling or cutting. Factories
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
traditional methods of rolling and crushing or faster modern methods of cutting, tearing and curling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
teabags. In both processes, natural enzymes
are produced
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
. The
next
step is oxidation, where the enzymes from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
mix with the air. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
of the
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leaves
from green to copper and creates a nice
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
and aroma.
Finally
, the
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leaves
are fired
and dried. By this stage,
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little
moisture remains in the tea-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
three per cent.
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows two different processes for manufacturing black tea

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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