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The chart gives information about female internet users in the usa for the year 2000 and 2001

The chart gives information about female internet users in the usa for the year 2000 and 2001 KG5d0
The chart shows a percentage of female internet users in the USA for the years 2000 and 2001. It separates the users in different age categories from 12 till 65+ years old. Around 70% of the females till the age of 55 used the internet in the year 2000. For females younger than 18 this is around 90%. The graph shows a rapid decrease in internet users for females above the age of 55. Where only 20% of the 65+ use the internet in 2000. The year 2001 illustrates a slight increase in female internet users for all age groups, except the females between the age 12-15 and 19-24 years old. Those stayed steady. However for all other age groups there is an increase visible form around 5% till almost 15%. Overall, the amount of females that use the internet has rosed in 2001. Even though there is still a downward trend visible, the older the age group gets.
The chart
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shows
a percentage of
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female
internet
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users
in the USA for the years 2000 and 2001. It separates the
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users
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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age
categories
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 12 to 65"?
from 12 till 65
+ years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.

Around 70% of the
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females
till the
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age
of 55
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the internet in the
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year
2000. For
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females
younger than 18 this is around 90%. The graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a rapid decrease in internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
above the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 55.
“Where” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Where
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only
20% of the 65+
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet in 2000.

The
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year
2001 illustrates a slight increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
for all
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age
groups, except the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
between the
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age
12-15 and 19-24 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. Those stayed steady.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
for all other
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age
groups there is an increase visible form around 5% till almost 15%.

Overall
, the amount of
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females
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet has
Possible spelling mistake found.
rosed
in 2001.
Even though
there is
still
a downward trend visible, the older the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
.

IELTS academic The chart gives information about female internet users in the usa for the year 2000 and 2001

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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