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The chart below shows the numbers of male and female research students studying six science-related subjects at a UK university in 2009.

The bar chart compares the men and women scholars’ statistics who are involved in the research of science-like subjects in Britain in 2009. It is measured in figures. Overall, it is clear that the major proportion of scholars was of men except for veterinary medicine where the number of women was higher. In physics, there were a greater proportion of scholars of men as compared to women who contributed to just above 200 and just below 50 respectively. In astronomy and geology, figures of men were exactly the same at 150; however, the number of women was around 50 and just below 100 sequentially. In biology and medicine, there was a slight difference between both genders, men contributed to just below 250 and exactly 200, whilst women witnessed to 200 and round 170. On the contrary, in veterinary medicine men’s contribution was lower than women's, with just below and above 200 respectively.
The bar chart compares the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
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women
scholars’ statistics who
are involved
in the research of science-like subjects in Britain in 2009. It
is measured
in figures.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the major proportion of scholars was of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
veterinary medicine where the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
was higher.

In physics, there were a greater proportion of scholars of
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men
as compared to
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women
who contributed to
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just
above 200 and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
below
50
respectively
. In astronomy and geology, figures of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
were exactly the same at 150;
however
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
was around 50 and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
below
100
sequentially
.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
biology and medicine, there was a slight difference between both genders,
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men
contributed to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
below
250 and exactly 200, whilst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
witnessed to 200 and round 170.
On the contrary
, in veterinary medicine
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men’s
contribution was lower than women's, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
below
and above 200
respectively
.

IELTS academic The chart below shows the numbers of male and female research students studying six science-related subjects at a UK university in 2009.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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