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The bar graph indicates the percentage of employment in terms of male and female in four distinct regions in 2002.

The bar graph indicates the percentage of employment in terms of male and female in four distinct regions in 2002. kgqdN
The bar graph indicates the percentage of employment in terms of male and female in four distinct regions in 2002. Overall, it is clearly shown that the employment of men was almost higher than that of women. While in Finland, Norway, the rate of both genders were nearly the same, in South America and Chile, women seem to have been far less employable than men. According to the statistic, it is clearly shown that in South Africa, mostly citizens who could be employed were male. In detail, women accounted for only about 38%, while men comprised up to over 50%. The gap of the occupation rate divided in each gender looked more significant in Chile. The number of men ensured secure employment was twice as large as that of the opposite gender. In Finland and Norway, both genders had the same job welfare. In general, there were nearly no differences between the rate of job opportunity in two countries. In these regions, the employment ratio of male had a tendency to be a little higher than that of women, only about 10%
The bar graph indicates the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
in terms of male and female in four distinct regions in 2002.

Overall
, it is
clearly
shown that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
was almost higher than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. While in Finland, Norway, the rate of both genders were
nearly
the same, in South America and Chile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
seem to have been far less employable than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

According to the statistic, it is
clearly
shown that in South Africa,
mostly
citizens who could
be employed
were male. In detail,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
accounted for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about 38%, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
comprised up to over 50%. The gap of the occupation rate divided in each gender looked more significant in Chile. The number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
ensured secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
was twice as large as that of the opposite gender.

In Finland and Norway, both genders had the same job welfare.
In general
, there were
nearly
no differences between the rate of job opportunity in two countries.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
these regions, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
ratio of male had a tendency to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
higher than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about 10%
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IELTS academic The bar graph indicates the percentage of employment in terms of male and female in four distinct regions in 2002.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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