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The bar chart shows the proportion of adults who visited a heritage site last year, 2009/2010. The pie chart shows the percentage of people likely to visit a historical site in the next 6 months.

The bar chart shows the proportion of adults who visited a heritage site last year, 2009/2010. The pie chart shows the percentage of people likely to visit a historical site in the next 6 months. 9r293
The bar chart represents the proportion of adults who visitied to different places of historical interest in England from 2009 to 2010. On the right side, the pie chart illustrates the percentage of people to likely to visit a historical site in the next six months. From an overall perspective, it is cleat that adults enjoy visiting heritage sites seems to be well-liked. Historic city or town were the most interest, at roughly 55 %. These were followed by many sites like historic gardens, historic building and castle, fort or ruins, around 43%, 38% and 37% However, adults visited historic places or worship were smaller than above sites, about 27%. The bottommost places to visit belongs to industrial history site( 20%), site of archaeological interest and sports heritage site( approximately 15 and 5% respectively) The pie chart predicts the people’s percentage likely to go to see historical places in the near future. The best part ( 55%) said they are likely to visit historical site once again in the next 6 months. The nadir with just 15% saying they would not and 30% is unsure
The bar chart represents the proportion of adults who
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visitied
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
interest in England from 2009 to 2010. On the right side, the pie chart illustrates the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Did you mean "too likely to"?
to likely to
visit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
in the
next
six months.

From an
overall
perspective, it is cleat that adults enjoy visiting heritage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
seems to be well-liked.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Historic
city or town were the most interest, at roughly 55 %. These
were followed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
gardens,
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historic
building and castle, fort or ruins, around 43%, 38% and 37%

However
, adults visited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
or worship were smaller than above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
, about 27%. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
bottommost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to visit belongs to industrial history site
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
20%),
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
of archaeological interest and sports heritage site
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
approximately 15 and 5%
respectively
)

The pie chart predicts the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s percentage likely to go to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in the near future. The best part
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
55%) said they are likely to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
once again in the
next
6 months.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
nadir with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
15% saying they would not and 30% is
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
unsure
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IELTS academic The bar chart shows the proportion of adults who visited a heritage site last year, 2009/2010. The pie chart shows the percentage of people likely to visit a historical site in the next 6 months.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
184 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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