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The amount of money spent on 5 consumer goods

The amount of money spent on 5 consumer goods 8P2k
The chart gives the amount of money spent on 5 consumer goods (Cars, Computers, Books, Perfume, Cameras). Between France and The UK in 2010. Overall, Cars is The UK and France spend the most money on it (Compared 450. 000 Pounds Sterling in the UK and 400. 000 in Franch. The reverse, Britsih expenditure as least on perfume (Around 140. 000 Pounds Sterling) beside French was on Cameras (150. 000). People in England mostly used their money for bought cars (450. 000 Pounds), when the second following by books approximately 400. 000 pounds, so the computers and cameras have a similar amount of money (around 350. 000), and The UK spend less money on perfume which under 150. 000 pounds. On the other hand, France also spends a lot of money on cars (400. 000 Pounds). Above 350. 000 Pounds was France spend on computers, also books in 300. 000 Pounds, and on perfume France spend more money than The UK spend, the last cameras have the lowest expenditure only 150. 000 pounds.
The chart gives the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent on 5 consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
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(Cars
, Computers, Books,
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Perfume
,
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Cameras)
. Between France and The UK in 2010.

Overall
,
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Cars
is The UK and France
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spend
the most
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money
on it
Unpaired symbol: ')' seems to be missing
(
Compared 450. 000 Pounds Sterling in the UK and 400. 000 in
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Franch
. The reverse,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Britsih
expenditure as least on
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perfume
(Around 140. 000 Pounds Sterling) beside French was on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cameras
(150. 000).

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
in England
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
their
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money
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
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cars
(450. 000 Pounds), when the second following by books approximately 400. 000 pounds,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the computers and
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cameras
have a similar amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
(around 350.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
000
), and The UK
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spend
less
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money
on
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perfume
which under 150.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
000
pounds.

On the other hand
, France
also
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spends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
(400. 000 Pounds). Above 350. 000 Pounds was France
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on computers,
also
books in 300. 000 Pounds, and on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perfume
France
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
than The UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
, the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
have the lowest expenditure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
150.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
000
pounds.
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IELTS academic The amount of money spent on 5 consumer goods

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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