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Task1 writing, bar chart and table

Task1 writing, bar chart and table MyYVa
The bar chart illustrates the earnings from five different export categories in a country in the years 2015 and 2016. The table depicts how much percentage change is seen in 2016 in all the categories when compared to the values in 2015. Overall, the exports of petroleum products and engineered goods recorded highest earnings in 2016. However, textiles showed highest percentage rise than other goods. Although, petroleum products and engineered goods earned almost similar amount in 2016 that is merely around $62 billion, the latter recorded an increase of 8. 5% which is almost three times the change seen in the former at 3%. Furthermore, maximum improvement in exports is noted in textiles with a rise of 15. 24% and a figure of just over $30 billion. However, only a mere difference of 0. 81% is seen in agricultural products. In contrast, the revenue from gems and jewellery export decreased by 5. 18% in 2016 with an approximate value of $40 billion.
The bar chart illustrates the earnings from five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
categories in a country in the years 2015 and 2016. The table depicts how much percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in 2016 in all the categories when compared to the values in 2015.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exports
of petroleum products and engineered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
recorded highest earnings in 2016.
However
, textiles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
percentage rise than other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

Although, petroleum products and engineered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
earned almost similar amount in 2016
that is
merely
around $62 billion, the latter recorded an increase of 8. 5% which is almost three times the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the former at 3%.
Furthermore
, maximum improvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exports
is noted
in textiles with a rise of 15. 24% and a figure of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over $30 billion.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a mere difference of 0. 81% is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in agricultural products.
In contrast
, the revenue from gems and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
decreased by 5. 18% in 2016 with an approximate value of $40 billion.
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IELTS academic Task1 writing, bar chart and table

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
162 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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