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Pie chart given information about the reason of using mobile in one African country between 2016 to 2019

Pie chart given information about the reason of using mobile in one African country between 2016 to 2019 Wmg50
The set of charts illustrate the number of reasons for youngsters to using smartphone in one African country from 2016 to 2019. It is menifest from the graph, social network was the major causes to use smart phone during 2016 to 2019. It was just half (50%) in 2016. In which, the figure experienced the slight fluctuation in this and stood at 51% in 2019. In the email, the figure stood at quarter (25%) in the 2016 and remained almost same in the next year. Then, the reason of using email decresed slightly to 19% in 2018. After that, surged slightly at 20% in 2019. Following this, the used of digital camera, they shared same percentage in 2016 and 2017. which was accounted for third in twenty (15%). Beside this, there was a slight fluctuation and reached the pick at 18% in 2019. In the phone call, in 2016 it was one in ten and peaked at 11% in 2019. Having some small fluctuated between 2016 to 2019. Overall, all four factor had witnessed the fluctuation of the given time period.
The set of charts
Did you mean "illustrates"?
illustrate
the number of reasons for youngsters to using smartphone in one African country from 2016 to 2019.

It is
Possible spelling mistake found.
menifest
from the graph, social network was the major causes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smart phone during 2016 to 2019. It was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
half (50%) in 2016. In which, the figure experienced the slight fluctuation in this and stood at 51% in 2019. In the email, the figure stood at quarter (25%) in the 2016 and remained almost same in the
next
year. Then, the reason of using email
Possible spelling mistake found.
decresed
slightly
to 19% in 2018. After that, surged
slightly
at 20% in 2019.

Following this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
of digital camera, they shared same percentage in 2016 and 2017.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
was accounted
for third in twenty (15%). Beside this, there was a slight fluctuation and reached the pick at 18% in 2019. In the phone call, in 2016 it was one in ten and peaked at 11% in 2019. Having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
fluctuated
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2016 and 2019".
between 2016 to 2019
.

Overall
, all four factor had witnessed the fluctuation of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time period.
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IELTS academic Pie chart given information about the reason of using mobile in one African country between 2016 to 2019

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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