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People consuming five servings of fruit and vegetables from 2001 to 2008 in the UK .

People consuming five servings of fruit and vegetables from 2001 to 2008 in the UK. bxEMg
‏The bar chart illustrates the proportion of women, men and children consuming five servings of fruit and vegetables each day in 8 years from 2001 to 2008 in the UK. Overall, it can be seen that the highest percentage of all people consuming fruit and vegetables was women, while children consistently accounted for the lowest proportion. Furthermore, a significant increase in the proportion of people eating these food items can be seen over the period given. The percentage of women who ate fruit and vegetables started at just over 20 % in 2001. This figure then rose steadily to reach a peak of almost 35 % in 2006, before falling slightly to 30 % in the final year. In terms of men and children eating fruit and vegetables, the rate remained relatively stable in the first three years ( about 17 % and 12 % respectively ). From this point, the proportion of men climbed gradually to peak at about 27 % in both 2006 and 2007, after which it dropped to about 26 %. A similar growth in the figure for children was evident reaching 25 % in 2007 and around 24 % in the final year.
‏The bar chart illustrates the
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proportion
of women,
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men
and
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children
consuming five servings of
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fruit
and
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vegetables
each day in 8 years from 2001 to 2008 in the UK.
Overall
, it can be
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seen
that the highest percentage of all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consuming
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fruit
and
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vegetables
was women, while
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children
consistently
accounted for the lowest
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proportion
.
Furthermore
, a significant increase in the
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proportion
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
eating these food items can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
over the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
. The percentage of women who ate
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fruit
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at
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just
over 20 % in 2001. This figure then rose
steadily
to reach a peak of almost 35 % in 2006,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
falling
slightly
to 30 % in the final
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year
. In terms of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
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children
eating
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fruit
and
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vegetables
, the rate remained
relatively
stable in the
first
three years
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(
about 17 % and 12 %
respectively
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
. From this point, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
climbed
gradually
to peak at about 27 % in both 2006 and 2007, after which it dropped to about 26 %. A similar growth in the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
was evident reaching 25 % in 2007 and around 24 % in the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
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IELTS academic People consuming five servings of fruit and vegetables from 2001 to 2008 in the UK.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
198 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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