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My younger sister glued to the smartphone screen all the time because she can’t go out during the Covid-19 pandemic.This makes her health worse and worse, so it has a negative impact on her life. What is the solution for her? Or what would you do if you were in her position?

My younger sister glued to the smartphone screen all the time because she can’t go out during the Covid-19 pandemic. This makes her health worse and worse, so it has a negative impact on her life. What is the solution for her? Or what would you do if you were in her position? eARkG
Find interest in learning is the last solution. Firstly, we should decorate a study corner beautifully in order to have more interest in learning. When you look at the the neat and beautifully study corner, you will want to go the table to sudy right away. In addition, we also should study in groups with friends, because when we study in groups, we will increase teamwork ability, develop communication ability as well as train thinking. Moreover, as opposed to surf tiktok, facebook, we should find more useful knowledge about your favorite field to read. This will help you both gain knowledge and discover things that you love.
Find interest in learning is the last solution.
Firstly
, we should decorate a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
corner
beautifully
in order to have more interest in learning. When you look at
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
neat and
beautifully
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
corner, you will want to go the table to
Possible spelling mistake found.
sudy
right away.
In addition
, we
also
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in groups with friends,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in groups, we will increase teamwork ability, develop communication ability
as well
as train thinking.
Moreover
, as opposed to surf
Possible spelling mistake found.
tiktok
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
, we should find more useful knowledge about your favorite field to read. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you both gain knowledge and discover things that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.
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IELTS academic My younger sister glued to the smartphone screen all the time because she can’t go out during the Covid-19 pandemic. This makes her health worse and worse, so it has a negative impact on her life. What is the solution for her? Or what would you do if you were in her position?

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
107 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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