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My writing is perfect Ali

My writing is perfect Ali 0nj53
this pie chart depicts several kinds of nutrients in different meals along the whole day in the United State of Americans. It is clear from the graph that most of the Americans had breakfast low in harmful substance or in other word almost healthy breakfast. According to what shown, in the first meals of the day that the person started with which is a breakfast it obvious from the chart that all the three nutrients are same In percentage. However, Lunch is noted contained more sodium and less add sugars. While the snacks which is coming in between of the meals showed peak proportions of add sugar among the three elements. Moreover, the dinner which is the last meal noticed have 43 per cent despite other components. To Sum up we could say that Dinner is Contain the higher percentage of all, three components which they Considered unhealthy
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
pie chart depicts several kinds of nutrients in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
along the whole day in the United State of Americans. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph that most of the Americans had breakfast low in harmful substance or in other word almost healthy breakfast. According to what shown, in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
of the day that the person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with which is a breakfast
Did you mean "is" or "it is"?
it
obvious from the chart that all the three nutrients are same In percentage.
However
, Lunch
is noted
contained more sodium and less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
sugars.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the snacks which is coming in between of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
peak proportions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
sugar among the three elements.
Moreover
, the dinner which is the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
noticed have 43 per cent despite other components. To Sum up we could say that Dinner is Contain the higher percentage of all, three components which they Considered
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
unhealthy

IELTS academic My writing is perfect Ali

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
147 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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