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More and more people are becoming seriously have had some people say that the price increase of adding food will solve this form do you agree

More and more people are becoming seriously have had some people say that the price increase of adding food will solve this form do you agree Dq1ra
In this present scenario, humans suffer from overweight problems owing to the fact that they do sedentary work. a number of societies open that the cost of fattening meat will incline to solve this issue. I disagree with this notion I shall highlight my viewpoints in upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, first and foremost reason is that family are extremely busy in their hectic schedule. They don't have time to exercise like learning yoga, jumping and running. Consequently, that's why they face serious obese problems. Secondly, the charges of quick feed products will not help to reduce overweight issue due to the fact nation which prefer to consume junk snack they will buy the expensive drink by hook and crook to stop their craving. This things affect the income of person not the usage of fast cuisine. To cite an example, a person who is fond of eat up KFC snack. They will told their parents to fulfill their needs by spending higher amount of money. On the other side, there are plethora of solutions to decline the overweight problem without rises the price of Frozen drink. Firstly, there are many electronic machines which make meat easily like rainmaker, rice-maker with these community eat healthy homemade meal without wasting their precious time. Secondly, the companies and Restaurant who make Canned feed. They should improve the quality of junk cuisine and never use harmful ingredients in that. So, individuals who are busy in their monotonous routine and don't have time to cook the mails. They eat fresh snack without any fear. To sum up, I would like to reiterate that to increase the price of cuisine is not the best solution. Eateries should improve the quality of meal.
In this present scenario, humans suffer from overweight problems owing to the fact that they do sedentary work.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
number of societies open that the cost of fattening meat will incline to solve this issue. I disagree with this notion I shall highlight my viewpoints in upcoming paragraphs. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
first
and foremost reason is that family are
extremely
busy in their hectic schedule. They don't have time to exercise like learning yoga, jumping and running.
Consequently
, that's why they face serious obese problems.
Secondly
, the charges of quick feed products will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
overweight issue due to the fact nation which prefer to consume junk snack they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the expensive drink by hook and crook to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
their craving.
Did you mean "these"?
This
things affect the income of person not the usage of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
cuisine. To cite an example, a person who is fond of eat up KFC snack. They will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "tell"
told
their parents to fulfill their needs by spending higher amount of money. On the other side, there are plethora of solutions to decline the overweight problem without rises the price of Frozen drink.
Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
electronic machines which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
meat
easily
like rainmaker, rice-maker with these community eat healthy homemade meal without wasting their precious time.
Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and Restaurant who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Canned feed. They should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of junk cuisine and never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
harmful ingredients in that.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, individuals who are busy in their monotonous routine and don't have time to cook the mails. They eat fresh snack without any fear. To sum up, I would like to reiterate that to increase the price of cuisine is not the best solution. Eateries should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of meal.
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IELTS academic More and more people are becoming seriously have had some people say that the price increase of adding food will solve this form do you agree

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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