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It is argued that parents of children who break the rules should be punished in some ways as parents are responsible for the children’s actions. The table below shows the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980.

It is argued that parents of children who break the rules should be punished in some ways as parents are responsible for the children’s actions. The table below shows the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980. r8baL
The bar chart compares the numbers of prisoners between 1930 and 1980 in five different countries, namely Great Britain, Australia, New Zealand, the United States and Canada. Overall, at a glance at the graph reveals that imprisonment figure in the USA and UK climbed over the period and in Canada, Australia, New Zealand, it actually declined. It is clearly seen that the United States had the highest number of inmates. Also, there was the lowest figure in Britain in 4 out of 6 years. In 1930, the number of prisoners in the United States reached the highest peak, with 120 thousand prisoners, then this data increased significantly to increase a peak of 140 thousand in 1980. By contrast, Britain had the lowest figure of prisoners until 1970, then the figure jumped suddenly to reach 90 thousand. Canada had the highest number of imprisonment in 1930 and 1960 with nearly 140 thousand people in each year. In 1970, the number of prisoners in Great Britain, New Zealand and Australia was same, about 70 thousand people. In 1980, 50 thousand of the persons in New Zealand were put in prison which was the lowest figure in this year.
The bar chart compares the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of
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prisoners
between 1930 and 1980 in five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries,
namely
Great Britain, Australia,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand, the United States and Canada.

Overall
, at a glance at the graph reveals that imprisonment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
in the USA and UK climbed over the period and in Canada, Australia,
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New
Zealand, it actually declined.

It is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the United States had the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of inmates.
Also
, there was the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
in Britain in 4 out of 6 years. In 1930, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
in the United States reached the highest peak, with 120 thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
, then this data increased
significantly
to increase a peak of 140 thousand in 1980. By contrast, Britain had the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
until 1970, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
jumped
suddenly
to reach 90 thousand.

Canada had the highest
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number
of imprisonment in 1930 and 1960 with
nearly
140 thousand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in each year. In 1970, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
in Great Britain,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand and Australia was same, about 70 thousand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In 1980, 50 thousand of the persons in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand
were put
in prison which was the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
in this year.
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IELTS academic It is argued that parents of children who break the rules should be punished in some ways as parents are responsible for the children’s actions. The table below shows the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
196 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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