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industrialised countries provided more employer to the fields. in 1990, the number of people passed sixty people. Last graph is not suprized due to expenses of the schooling and employement. In the passed then years, the govern gave more money from the 150 billions to over 300 billions. To the sum, the development needs more money, educated people and employers, thus the graph was revealed that high discripancies among the countries.

industrialised countries provided more employer to the fields. in 1990, the number of people passed sixty people. Last graph is not suprized due to expenses of the schooling and employement. In the passed then years, the govern gave more money from the 150 billions to over 300 billions. To the sum, the development needs more money, educated people and employers, thus the graph was revealed that high discripancies among the countries. Kw3rM
The three bar graphs illustrate that education and science have an effect on the developing and industrialised countries which are classified by years, the number of per people and expense in 1980 and 1990. A glance at the graphs reveal that the developed countries care about three sections according to graphs. First of all, the time of education is important in the developed countries. As it is seen at graphs show that over the eight year education increased by ten years. Although the developing countries raised educated person's number smaller than other. Second graph shows the same value like others. However, in the ten years, industrialised countries provided more employer to the fields. in 1990, the number of people passed sixty people. Last graph is not suprized due to expenses of the schooling and employement. In the passed then years, the govern gave more money from the 150 billions to over 300 billions. To the sum, the development needs more money, educated people and employers, thus the graph was revealed that high discripancies among the countries.
The three bar
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graphs
illustrate that education and science have an effect on the developing and
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialised' is British English.
industrialised
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countries
which
are classified
by years, the number of per
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people
and expense in 1980 and 1990. A glance at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graphs
reveal that the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
care about three sections according to graphs.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the time of education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in the developed
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countries
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
at
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graphs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that over the eight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
education increased by ten years.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
the developing
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countries
raised educated person's number smaller than other. Second
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graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the same value
Comparison is written 'the same ... "as"'.
like
others.
However
, in the ten years,
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialised' is British English.
industrialised
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countries
provided more employer to the fields.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
1990, the number of
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people
passed sixty
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people
. Last
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graph
is not
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suprized
due to expenses of the schooling and
Possible spelling mistake found.
employement
.
Did you mean "in the past"?
In the passed
then years,
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'govern' is correct. If 'govern' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the govern
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gave
more money from the 150 billions to over 300 billions.

To the sum, the development needs more money, educated
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people
and employers,
thus
the
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graph
was revealed
that high
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discripancies
among the
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countries
.
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IELTS academic industrialised countries provided more employer to the fields. in 1990, the number of people passed sixty people. Last graph is not suprized due to expenses of the schooling and employement. In the passed then years, the govern gave more money from the 150 billions to over 300 billions. To the sum, the development needs more money, educated people and employers, thus the graph was revealed that high discripancies among the countries.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
176 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • industrialised countries provided more employer to the fields. in 1990, the number of people passed sixty people. Last graph is not suprized due to expenses of the schooling and employement. In the passed then years, the govern gave more money from the 150 billions to over 300 billions. To the sum, the development needs more money, educated people and employers, thus the graph was revealed that high discripancies among the countries.