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The line chart provides information on the number of students from Indonesia, Hong Kong, Malaysia and Singapore who studied in Australia between 1982 and 2000 Overall, the most outstanding feature of the line chart is that four Asian countries witnessed a substantial increase in students total in Australia over an eighteen-year period. While, the highest number of Indonesian students studying abroad can be seen in 2000. At the begin of period, Malaysian students were ranked the highest among the other four countries with approximately 5, 000 students, compare to only around 1, 000 students from the other countries. Whereas, the number of international students from Hong Kong and Indonesia went up gradually over 18years, quickly surpassed Malaysia in turn by 1990 and 1993. By contrast, the figure for Malaysia rose slightly, reaching 10, 000 students until 1994.
The line chart provides information on the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from Indonesia, Hong Kong, Malaysia and Singapore who studied in Australia between 1982 and 2000

Overall
, the most outstanding feature of the line chart is that four Asian countries witnessed a substantial increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
total in Australia over an eighteen-year period.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, the highest number of Indonesian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
studying abroad can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in 2000.

At the
The word 'begin' is not a noun. Did you mean "beginning"?
begin
of period, Malaysian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were ranked
the highest among the other four countries with approximately 5, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, compare to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
around 1, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from the other countries. Whereas, the number of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from Hong Kong and Indonesia went up
gradually
over 18years,
quickly
surpassed Malaysia in turn by 1990 and 1993. By contrast, the figure for Malaysia rose
slightly
, reaching 10, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
until 1994.
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IELTS academic gnnfnfvfdvvfdsfdsfdsvfsvs

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
137 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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