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Divorce rates in two nations in Europe

Divorce rates in two nations in Europe okwW3
The bar chart gives information about the rates of divorce in two particular nations in Europe over the course of 5 years. In general, the proportion of divorced people in Finland experienced a gradual rise despite falling to its lowest point in 2012. However, the same index for Sweden started to decrease from 2013 to 2015 after a steady growth for the first two years. Although the percentage of divorce in Finland declined to about 33 ratio in 2012 from roughly 36 chunk in 2011, the same figure for the same country witnessed a rise with the figure reaching by 40 percent in 2014. However, the index kept the same level for the next two years. As far as Sweden is concerned, the figure went up to a high of roughly 50 percent in 2012 from well over 40 percent in 2011. However, there was a gradual decline in the proportion of divorced couples accounting for about 36 percent in 2015
The bar chart gives information about the rates of divorce in two particular nations in Europe over the course of 5 years.
In general
, the proportion of divorced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Finland experienced a gradual rise despite falling to its lowest point in 2012.
However
, the same index for Sweden
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to decrease from 2013 to 2015 after a steady growth for the
first
two years.

Although the percentage of divorce in Finland declined to about 33
Possible agreement error. The noun 'ratio' seems to be countable, so consider using: "ratios".
ratio
in 2012 from roughly 36
Possible agreement error. The noun 'chunk' seems to be countable, so consider using: "chunks".
chunk
in 2011, the same figure for the same country witnessed a rise with the figure reaching by 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2014.
However
, the index
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
the same level for the
next
two years.

As far as Sweden
is concerned
, the figure went up to a high of roughly 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2012 from well over 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2011.
However
, there was a gradual decline in the proportion of divorced couples accounting for about 36
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2015

IELTS academic Divorce rates in two nations in Europe

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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