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diagram illustrating how sugar is obtained from sugar canes

diagram illustrating how sugar is obtained from sugar canes My5AL
The diagram illustrates how sugar is produced from sugar cane. Overall, six steps are involved from the cultivation of plants to the production of sugar. The first stage consists in the production of sugar canes. After seeding, plants are left growing for about 12-18 months. Once they have reached their maturity, sugar canes are ready to be harvested by hand or through dedicated machines. The second stage involves the processing of the harvested sugar canes. First, they are crushed into juice. Then, the compound is purified by using a limestone filter. Once cleaned, the juice is heated to a boiling point till it is turned into syrup. The latter is centrifuged in order to separate sugar crystals from syrup. After drying and cooling the sugar is obtaind, which is, therefore, ready to be sold and dispatched.
The diagram illustrates how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is produced
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cane
.
Overall
, six steps
are involved
from the cultivation of plants to the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
. The
first
stage consists in the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
canes
. After seeding, plants are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
growing for about 12-18 months. Once they have reached their maturity,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
canes
are ready to
be harvested
by hand or through dedicated machines. The second stage involves the processing of the harvested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
canes
.
First
, they
are crushed
into juice. Then, the compound
is purified
by using a limestone filter. Once cleaned, the juice
is heated
to a boiling point till it
is turned
into syrup. The latter
is centrifuged
in order to separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
crystals from syrup. After drying and cooling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
obtaind
, which is,
therefore
, ready to
be sold
and dispatched.

IELTS academic diagram illustrating how sugar is obtained from sugar canes

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
136 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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