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Canadians’ answers to: How often do you contact relatives/friends?

Canadians’ answers to: How often do you contact relatives/friends? b2N1W
The chart demonstrates the results of the survey how frequently do Canadian keep in touch with their relatives or friends. As can be seen, it seems to be a ratio of Canadians who are having conversations with friends is much more than relatives. First of all, the ratio they say that they contact their companions every day is 15% which is twice the percent they communicate with their family. With the frequency 2 or 3 times a week, the percent of people who have a conversation with relatives or friends raises strongly, accounting for 37% and 48%, respectively. Following this, the ratio of Canadians who is contact confidante and kin 2 or 3 times a month tends to decrease slightly, take nearly 40% and 30%, respectively. Taking a look at the frequency once a month or less, the rate of communication with friends hits the lowest point with 20% but this ratio is still three times more than the rest. In short, now you know how many time Canadian contact relatives or friends.
The chart demonstrates the results of the survey how
frequently
do Canadian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their relatives or friends.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, it seems to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratio
of Canadians who are having conversations with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
is much more than relatives.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratio
they say that they contact their companions every day is 15% which is twice the percent they communicate with their family. With the frequency 2 or 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
a week, the percent of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have a conversation with relatives or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
raises
strongly
, accounting for 37% and 48%,
respectively
.

Following this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratio
of Canadians who is contact confidante and kin 2 or 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
a month tends to decrease
slightly
, take
nearly
40% and 30%,
respectively
. Taking a look at the frequency once a month or less, the rate of communication with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
hits the lowest point with 20%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratio
is
still
three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
more than the rest.

In short,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
you know how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Canadian contact relatives or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.

IELTS academic Canadians’ answers to: How often do you contact relatives/friends?

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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