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applicants in 3 universities in the year 1990, 2000 and 2010

applicants in 3 universities in the year 1990, 2000 and 2010 xDX7o
The above bar graph demonstrates the number of applicants in 3 different American universities in different faculty and split up in three different timelines. Generally speaking, during the period of 1990, 2000 and 2010, there is a downscaled trend in Biology and engineering, while an upsurge of students appeal to study in business and social work. Overall, the number of people applying to all universities dropped ever since 1990. In the year 1990, the highest applicants received was in the engineering faculty, standing at 4000. However, this is followed by biology, business and social work, all decreasing by 1000 each. Furthermore, it is evident that Business faculty held the top position to accept students, though followed closely by 500 students is the engineering site, with biology and social work trailing closely behind with an even close difference of approximately 100 potential students. Finally, in 2010, the total enrolment dwindled. Even though business schools hit an all time high compared to the other years, the contrast in numbers between every other areas of study is dramatic, with the closest reigning at 1000. Moreover, biology and engineering studies receives the least ever applicants in all three years, at 900 and 600 only.
The above bar graph demonstrates the number of applicants in 3
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
American universities in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
faculty and split up in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
timelines.

Generally
speaking, during the period of 1990, 2000 and 2010, there is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
downscaled
trend in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Biology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
, while an upsurge of students
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "appeals"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'appeal' is not always incorrect.)
appeal
to study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and social work.
Overall
, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
applying to all universities dropped ever since 1990.

In the year 1990, the highest applicants received was in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
faculty, standing at 4000.
However
, this
is followed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
biology
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and social work, all decreasing by 1000 each.
Furthermore
, it is evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
faculty held the top position to accept students, though followed
closely
by 500 students is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
site, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
biology
and social work trailing
closely
behind with an even close difference of approximately 100 potential students.

Finally
, in 2010, the total
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
dwindled.
Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
schools hit an
It appears that a hyphen is missing in the adjective "all-time"
all time
high compared to the other years, the contrast in numbers between every other areas of study is dramatic, with the closest reigning at 1000.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
biology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
studies receives the least ever applicants in all three years, at 900 and 600
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
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IELTS academic applicants in 3 universities in the year 1990, 2000 and 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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