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amount of time spending on calls

amount of time spending on calls nXr57
This chart shows how much time British people spend on calls. localUK. Local fixed line remained on the top level all along the time period from 1995 to 2002. National line had been following as second choise by showing steady increase. Black bar which correspond mobile line make a place in third level of usage in spite of its gradual increasing. Usage of local fixed line had been ascending until 1999 then starts falling from 90 to 72 in 3 year period. On the other hand others had not face with any declining. National line had been saving steadiness of increase and shows around 25 increase overall in 7 years. In comparison with national line, mobiles display bigger amount of acceleration and reach 45 from 3 in 2002. From 2000 to 2001 could be consider as a breakthrough. Mobiles has reached 37 by 25 increase
This chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how much time British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend on calls.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
localUK
. Local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
remained on the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
top level
all along the time period from 1995 to 2002. National
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
had been following as second
Possible spelling mistake found.
choise
by showing steady
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
. Black bar which correspond mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a place in third level of usage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
its gradual increasing.

Usage of local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
had been ascending until 1999 then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
falling from 90 to 72 in
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
3 year
period.
On the other hand
others had not
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "faced".
face
with any declining. National
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
had been saving steadiness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
around 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
overall
in 7 years.
In comparison
with national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
, mobiles display bigger amount of acceleration and reach 45 from 3 in 2002. From 2000 to 2001 could be
Consider using the past participle "considered"?
consider
as a breakthrough.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "mobile has".
Mobiles has
reached 37 by 25
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
increase
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IELTS academic amount of time spending on calls

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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