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Advancement in science is necessary for cancer treatment. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Advancement in science is necessary for cancer treatment. awlBo
Cancer is a deadly disease which is believed to be the number one killer disease in the world, after heart diseases. It refers to abnormal proliferation of cells and tissues in the body causing diseases in various organs of the body. Quite unfortunately, the menace of cancer is increasing due to absence of effective medical treatment for the devastating illness. What then is the way forward? I strongly believe improvement in science and technology is vital in curbing this problem. This essay will highlight reasons for my assertions. To start with, drug development through effective clinical trials is important in solving this issue. This can only be made possible through advancement in the scientific and technological know-how. A good example can be taken from the development of cure for HIV. Before scientific advancement was able to produce effective treatment for this previously deadly disease, a lot of people have died. With effective treatment however, people are now rather living with HIV than dying of it. In addition, modern science and technology also come into play by researching on effective means by which cancer can be prevented in the first instance. A research carried out by Manchester medical personell in 2002 showed that all cancer are due to a certain abnormal gene. However, current science and technology has not been able to map out such gene. This I suppose will not be the same with new methods and findings in science and technology. In conclusion, cancer has continued to be a major killer and a life threatening illness mainly due to inability of man to devise effective medical treatment as well as efficient preventive strategies for it. This essay has given insight on how modern science and technology can be used to avert such calamity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cancer
is a deadly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
which
is believed
to be the number one killer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
in the world, after heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. It refers to abnormal proliferation of cells and tissues in the body causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
in various organs of the body. Quite unfortunately, the menace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
is increasing due to absence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
for the devastating illness.

What then is the way forward? I
strongly
believe improvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is vital in curbing this problem. This essay will highlight reasons for my assertions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, drug development through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
clinical trials is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in solving this issue. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be made
possible through advancement in the scientific and technological know-how. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example can
be taken
from the development of cure for HIV.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
scientific advancement was able to produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
for this previously deadly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
. With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
rather
living with HIV than dying of it.

In addition
, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into play by researching on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
means by which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
in the
first
instance.
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
A research
carried out by Manchester medical
Possible spelling mistake found.
personell
in 2002
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
are due to a certain abnormal gene.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has not been able to map out such gene. This I suppose will not be the same with new methods and findings in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
has continued to be a major killer and a life threatening illness
mainly
due to inability of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
to devise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
as well
as efficient preventive strategies for it. This essay has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
insight on how modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to avert such calamity.
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IELTS academic Advancement in science is necessary for cancer treatment.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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