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Describe a person you know who is beautiful or handsome. v.1

Describe a person you know who is beautiful or handsome. v. 1
Describe a person you know who is beautiful or handsome. You should say: who is he/she how you know him/her what you know about him/her and explain why you think he/she is beautiful or handsome. Model Answer 1: Irene, a friend of my elder sister, is both beautiful and handsome whom I know for a long. Her full name is Irene Chemo and she works in a multinational company as a senior executive. She is 5 feet 9, has a slender body and a great complexion. On top of that, she has a great fashion sense and her intelligence and amiable personality make her even more handsome. As I heard from my sister, Irene once won an award for the extraordinary performance in a fashion design competition. In my opinion, she is a rare combination of beauty, intelligence, fashion sense, sense of humour and kindness. Irene is my sister's school friend and I know her from my early childhood. She often comes to our house and I have been to her house on several occasions. She lives with her parents and three other siblings. She is 26 and last year she finished her  graduation. Now she is working full full-time in a large company and planning to establish a small coffee shop near her house. She has asked my sister to be her business partner. Irene is undoubtedly a beautiful person - both in appearance and in thoughts. She has got the kind of look that can be described as unique and elegant. I guess she could have easily become a renowned model in our country. Her sense of fashion is quite fabulous and most importantly, her higher IQ makes her stand out of the crowd. Furthermore, she is kind and helpful and her amiable and affectionate behaviours make her even more likeable. Her innocent look and the distinctive fashion sense are worth noticing. For all these reasons, I like her very much and have picked her for this cue card topic. I belive the definition of the term 'smart' or 'handsome' is not that straightforward and someone's intelligence is equally important to become handsome as much as his or her physical appearance is. From this regards, Irene is smart, good looking and handsome.   Sample Answer 2: Thank you for allowing me to discuss the topic. Since my birth, I have met a good number of people but none of them is as beautiful as my mum is. She is the most beautiful lady I have ever seen in my life. And I am really happy to have the chance of introducing her to you. My mum, Rini Mutsoku is a striking lady. She loves her family much and been caring the family for a long time. She is well-educated and has completed her MA in social science. She is smart, intelligent and owns a pretty look with her dashing eyes. She is in her middle age now and used to be a teacher in a local school here in Japan. She left the job a couple of years ago and turned into a full-fledged homemaker. She has a distinctive style of cooking and she can cook different sorts of traditional foods. In fact, she has got a training on cooking. I am a young lady and have completed my graduation from the University of Tokyo. Rini Mutsoku is my mum and I have a very intimate bonding with her since after my birth. Though I am not the only daughter to her, she loves me much being the youngest one. But she tries to take care properly for each of the members. She arranges for everything to run the household. My dad is also happy with her efforts and often tries to help her in domestic chores. Being a fresh graduate, it is not possible for me to help her in all such activities as I am busy with searching jobs and interviews across the city. Besides, my other siblings are also busy with their respective activities. Hence, it is my mum who is to take care of everything at the home. The early life of my parents was not so good. In fact, they had to struggle a lot to come in the current position. Life was challenging for them, especially for my mum. Her parents did not want her to get married to my dad for some reasons. At that time, dad was not too much wealthy but he had potentials. After lots of struggles and challenges, both of them got married and started their life together. She continued caring for the home and teaching simultaneously. When my elder two brothers were born, she had to struggle more for taking care of her boys. She also had to suffer for me in my childhood. But now all the sufferings are gone. My mum is beautiful in many aspects. Firstly, she has a beautiful mind filled with kindness. She loves to help others. Her beauty lies in her mind. Of course, she has a fair skin but it does not reflect her inner beauty. I have had close contacts with her for numerous times and discovered her inner self. She is a lovely lady of around 40 and loves to socialise. Almost everyone loves her for her benevolent nature. Besides, she is extremely caring for us. When I was a kid, she used to teach me different course with outstanding examples. And now I realise that how adorable she is. She has managed everything, made the family relations stronger, smartly handled all the distressful moments and more other issues. So, I think she is a beautiful lady in all terms.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Describe
a person you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
who is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beautiful
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handsome
. You should say: who is he/she how you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
him/her what you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about him/her and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
he/she is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beautiful
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handsome
. Model Answer 1:

Irene, a friend of my elder sister, is both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beautiful
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handsome
whom I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
for a long. Her full name is Irene
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Chemo and
she works in a multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
as a senior executive. She is
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
5 feet
9, has a slender body and a great complexion.
On top of that
, she has a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sense
and her intelligence and amiable personality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
her even more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handsome
. As I heard from my sister, Irene once won an award for the extraordinary performance in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
design competition. In my opinion, she is a rare combination of beauty, intelligence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sense
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sense
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'humour' is British English.
humour
and kindness.

Irene is my sister's school friend and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
her from my early childhood. She
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and I have been to her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
on several occasions. She
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
with her parents and three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
siblings.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
She
is 26 and last year she finished her
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
graduation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Now
she is working full full-time in a large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and planning to establish a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
coffee shop near her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. She has asked my sister to be her business partner.

Irene is
undoubtedly
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beautiful
person
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
both in appearance and in thoughts. She has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the kind of look that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
as unique and elegant.
I guess
she could have
easily
become a renowned model in our country. Her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sense
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
is quite fabulous and most
importantly
, her higher IQ
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
her stand out of the crowd.
Furthermore
, she is kind and helpful and her amiable and affectionate
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
her even more likeable. Her innocent look and the distinctive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sense
are worth noticing. For all these reasons, I like her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
and have picked her for this cue card topic.

Did you mean "I believe"?
I belive
the definition of the term 'smart' or 'handsome' is not that straightforward and someone's intelligence is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handsome
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
physical appearance is. From
Did you mean "these"?
this
regards, Irene is smart,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
good looking
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handsome
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Sample Answer 2:

Thank you for allowing me to discuss the topic. Since my birth, I have met a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
none of them is as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beautiful
as my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mum
is. She is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beautiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lady
I have ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. And I am
really
happy to have the chance of introducing her to you.

My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mum
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rini
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mutsoku
is a striking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lady
. She
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loves
her family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
and been caring the family for a long time. She is
well
-educated and has completed her MA in social science.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
She
is smart, intelligent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
a pretty look with her dashing eyes.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
She
is in her middle age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a teacher in a local school here in Japan.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
She
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the job a couple of years ago and turned into a full-fledged homemaker.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
She
has a distinctive style of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cooking and
she can cook
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sorts of traditional foods. In fact, she has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a training on cooking.

I am a young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lady
and have completed my graduation from the University of Tokyo.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rini
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mutsoku
is my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mum
and I have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
intimate bonding with her since after my birth. Though I am not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
daughter to her, she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loves
me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
being the youngest one.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
she tries to take care
properly
for each of the members. She arranges for everything to run the household. My dad is
also
happy with her efforts and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
tries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
her in domestic chores. Being a fresh graduate, it is not possible for me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
her in all such activities as I am busy with searching jobs and interviews across the city.
Besides
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
siblings are
also
busy with their respective activities.
Hence
, it is my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mum
who is to take care of everything at the home.

The early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of my parents was not
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. In fact, they had to struggle a lot to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
position.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
was challenging for them,
especially
for my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mum
. Her parents did not want her to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married to my dad for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons. At that time, dad was not too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
wealthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he had potentials. After lots of struggles and challenges, both of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
married and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
together. She continued caring for the home and teaching
simultaneously
. When my elder two brothers
were born
, she had to struggle more for taking care of her boys. She
also
had to suffer for me in my childhood.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
all the sufferings
are gone
.

My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mum
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beautiful
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects.
Firstly
, she has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beautiful
mind filled with kindness. She
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loves
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others. Her beauty lies in her mind.
Of course
, she has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
skin
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does not reflect her inner beauty. I have had close contacts with her for numerous times and discovered her inner self. She is a lovely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lady
of around 40 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loves
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
. Almost everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loves
her for her benevolent nature.
Besides
, she is
extremely
caring for us. When I was a kid, she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to teach me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
course with outstanding examples. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
I
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that how adorable she is. She has managed everything, made the family relations stronger,
smartly
handled all the distressful moments and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
issues.
So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
she is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beautiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lady
in all terms.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
62Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS speaking Describe a person you know who is beautiful or handsome. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
10 paragraphs
943 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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