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Describe a family not your own that you like. v.1

Describe a family not your own that you like. v. 1
Describe a family not your own that you like. You should say: whose family it is how many family members they have what are they like and explain why you like this family. [You will have to talk about the topic for one to two minutes. You have one minute to think about what you're going to say. You can make some notes to help you if you wish. ] Sample Answer 1: Umm. . . that's an interesting topic, I would say. There are many families I know about and I am very close with some of these families, but I have never thought that I would have to describe such a family. Well, I think describing Emma and her family would be more convenient and natural for me as she is one of my best friends and I know her family very closely. Emma has a family with 5 members- her parents, she, Jonathan who is 11 and Emma's sister Paula, who is a doctor. They live only 5 blocks away from our house and as a friend, I know Emma for more than 15 years. They moved here some 16 years ago and they often visit our house, I would say at least once in a week. Emma is a talented girl with an excellent academic record. The reason she is a very good friend of mine because of her tender nature and friendly attitude. The first time I met her, I found her very sociable, easygoing, gregarious and cordial. Since then we two are close friends. Her father, Mr Alex is an architect and would be around 48 years old. He is working in a large private company and stay out of the town most of the time. When he is not working, he remains busy in his garden. He is quite a devoted gardener and I must state that he has got the finest garden on our block. He does not speak much but I had few conversations with him and I found him quite intelligent and he has a sense of humour that makes him more friendly than he appears to be. Emma's mother is a school teacher and she teaches English literature in grade 7. She is a beautiful woman who loves every living soul. She is also a great cook. She has a natural talent for cooking a variety of food items and this makes her very famous among our friends. Some dishes she made for us was completely unknown to us and she brought the opportunity for us to taste those for the first time in my life. Her father was a photographer and she travelled a lot in her early age in different parts of the world including Asia, Africa and Europe. She is more like her eldest daughter Paula than Emma. I guess Emma is a fine mixture of both of her parents and that makes her an excellent person. She is my friend for a long and we two have a very close relationship as two close friends. I find her very curious and her amiable behaviour and polite way of speaking make her very cordial and affectionate. Paula, Emma’s sister’ is a doctor and she is married to a doctor as well. She had two children who are both in their elementary schools. As Paula lives with her husband, I have met her only twice and know very little about her. She is beautiful and blunter than Emma. Finally, Jonathan, the youngest member of the family, is in grade 5 and he is full of new ideas and joy. He always smiles, plays and talks and has a good relationship with me. I like him very much due to his frankness and his respect for anyone who is senior to him. As he stated he wants to become a great detective like Sherlock holmes someday. This is a good family that anyone would expect as his neighbour. We often visit Emma's family and have family parties. Our family members have a close and friendly relationship with Emma's family and surprisingly Emma's father talks a lot when he is with my father. Probably they love to discuss things together and have common interests and topics to talk about.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Describe
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
not your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
that you like. You should say: whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
it is how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
they have what are they like and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why you like this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. [You will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
about the topic for one to two minutes. You have one minute to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about what you're going to say. You can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
notes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you if you wish.
Loose punctuation mark.
]
Sample Answer 1:

Possible spelling mistake found.
Umm
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
's an interesting topic, I would say. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
about and
I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I have never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that I would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Well
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
describing Emma and her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
would be more convenient and natural for me as she is one of my best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
closely
.

Emma has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
with 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members-
her parents, she, Jonathan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is 11 and Emma's sister Paula,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is a doctor. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5 blocks away from our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
Emma for more than 15 years. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
here
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
16 years
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ago and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
visit our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, I would say at least once in a week. Emma is a talented girl with an excellent academic record. The reason she is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
of mine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of her tender nature and friendly attitude. The
first
time I met her, I found her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sociable, easygoing, gregarious and cordial.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
The comma is probably missing here: "then, we".
then we
two are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
friends.

Her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
, Mr Alex is an architect and would be around 48 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. He is working in a large private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and stay out of the town most of the time. When he is not working, he remains busy in his garden. He is quite a devoted gardener and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
state that he has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the finest garden on our block. He does not speak much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I had few conversations with him and I found him quite
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
intelligent and
he has a sense of
Possible spelling mistake. 'humour' is British English.
humour
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
him more friendly than he appears to be.

Emma's mother is a school
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
teacher and
she teaches English literature in grade 7. She is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
woman
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
every living soul. She is
also
a great cook.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
She
has a natural talent for cooking a variety of food items and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
among our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
dishes she made for us was completely unknown to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
us and
she brought the opportunity for us to taste those for the
first
time in my life. Her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
was a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
photographer and
she travelled a lot in her early age in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world including Asia, Africa and Europe. She is more like her eldest daughter Paula than Emma.

I guess
Emma is a fine mixture of both of her parents and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
her an excellent person. She is my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
for a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
long and
we two have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
relationship as two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. I find her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
curious and her amiable
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and polite way of speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
cordial and affectionate. Paula, Emma’s sister’ is a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
doctor and
she
is married
to a doctor as
well
. She had two children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are both in their elementary schools. As Paula
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
with her husband, I have met her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
twice and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
about her. She is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
and blunter than Emma.

Finally
, Jonathan, the youngest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, is in grade
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
5 and
he is full of new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and joy. He always smiles, plays and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talks
and has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship with me. I like him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much due to his frankness and his respect for anyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is senior to him.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
he stated he wants to become a great detective like Sherlock
Possible spelling mistake found.
holmes
someday.

This is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
that anyone would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
as his
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
visit Emma's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
parties. Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
and friendly relationship with Emma's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
surprisingly
Emma's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talks
a lot when he is with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
.
Probably
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to discuss things together and have common interests and topics to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
about.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS speaking Describe a family not your own that you like. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
8 paragraphs
710 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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