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lt is more importonl for school children lo leorn locot history than world history.To whot exfenf do you ogree or disogree?

lt is more importonl for school children lo leorn locot history than world history. To whot exfenf do you ogree or disogree? RWBjp
History is the witness of the times, and acts as a torch for the present and the future. lt is very important to study history, whether it is local or world history. However, lagree that priority should be given to local history. There are profound advantages of teaching local history to the students. The study of local history provides the student with increased interest in the larger subject of history. This information is relevant to the students' own surroundings. Once they study their local history they would be even more enthusiastic to learn the world history and compare it with their own. Therefore, the syllabus of today's schools should include local history and teach it before going on to teach world history. Secondly, the knowledge of local history may encourage preservation. As it is, today we are living in a global village, where social and geographical mobility is more than ever in the past. As people move away, all the roots, which bind them to their local area, are forgotten. The people tend to tear away the familiar buildings and the local communities. lf they study local history, they might wish to preserve the local areas. It would make them aware of their own links to their past. On the other hand, the study of world history cannot be undermined in today's era of globalization. World history helps prepare young people for college studies, international experience, and active participation in civic life. lt helps get them become global citizens, who know and care about the world issues and problems. World history is a shared knowledge that citizens, whatever their country, need, to function on our planet in the twenty-first century. To sum up, it can be reiterated that the study of history is important in toto, but local history must be taught before teaching the history of the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is the witness of the times, and acts as a torch for the present and the future.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lt
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to

study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, whether it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
However
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
lagree
that priority should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to local

history.

There are profound advantages of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
to the students. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
provides

the student with increased interest in the larger subject of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. This information is relevant to the

students'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
surroundings. Once they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
they would be even more enthusiastic to

learn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and compare it with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Therefore
, the syllabus of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's schools should

include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and teach it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going on to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
history.

Secondly
, the knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
may encourage preservation. As it is,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
we are living in a global

village, where social and geographical mobility is more than ever in the past. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
away, all the

roots, which bind them to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
area,
are forgotten
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to tear away the familiar

buildings and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lf
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, they might wish to preserve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
areas.

It would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them aware of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
links to their past.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
cannot
be undermined
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era of globalization. World

history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
prepare young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, international experience, and active

participation in civic life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
them become global citizens, who know and care about the

world issues and problems.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "shared knowledge".
a shared knowledge
that citizens, whatever their country,

need, to function on our planet in the twenty-
first
century.

To sum up, it can
be reiterated
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in toto,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taught
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
teaching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
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IELTS letter lt is more importonl for school children lo leorn locot history than world history. To whot exfenf do you ogree or disogree?

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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